…And She Said, ‘I am Busy’

Rohini tells us how children copy our attitudes and actions, while talking about the challenges of parenting. A Different Truths exclusive.

The one most probable answer that we give to our kids is ‘I am busy’ when either they are poking our heads with their rapid-fire questions or they are getting bored. I usually try to answer my daughter’s questions, but sometimes when I am in mid of something, I just tell her that I am busy and shall attend to her in a while. Sometimes she listens, sometimes starts nagging but I somehow manage in consoling her.

One fine day, I was busy writing and my phone rang, I called my daughter, “Fifi, please bring the phone, mama is busy.” She did not reply. I called her again. But did not hear her voice. My phone rang again, this time I screamed, “Where are you Fifi? Can’t you hear me? Can you bring my phone?” Surprisingly I didn’t hear her reply. I went mad of anger and went inside the room. I saw that she was busy painting her drawings and so did not pay any heed to my callings. I just picked up my phone and attended to it. Once I was through, I went to her, I felt like scolding her; but took control of my anger and asked her firmly, “Fifi, why were you not responding to my calls?”

“Can’t you see mama, I am busy,” she replied…

“Can’t you see mama, I am busy,” she replied without even bothering to look at me. This made me more furious.

“Busy? What busy? Turn towards me and talk. You knew I was writing something important, still you did not bother to receive my phone?” I asked her.

She turned towards me and said, “Mama, I was painting, and it was very important. This is my drawing homework. You could have received your call yourself.”

Instead of scolding her or getting angry on her, I decided to admit my mistake of ignoring her and teach her the right thing.

I took a deep breath, had a glass of cold water and decided to talk to her. I knew that whatever reply she is giving to me is an output of all those conversations when she approaches us, and we say that we are busy. So instead of scolding her or getting angry on her, I decided to admit my mistake of ignoring her and teach her the right thing. At night, I and my husband called her and sat with her, “So today you were quite busy with your homework, right! Where did you learn this word ‘busy’ honey?”  her father asked her.

“Mama always says when she is writing something or in the kitchen or talking to someone. And even you say dad when you are back from office. Whenever I ask you something, you say this,” she replied very innocently.

“We agree dear that we sometimes say this. So now let’s promise one thing to each other, anytime you come to either of us, we shall answer your questions, help you, but if mama or papa is doing something very urgent, then we would answer you after some time. But we all shall help each other,” we told her.

Kids imitate the way we behave with them. Hence it becomes very necessary to keep a watch on our behaviour.

She nodded her head and went to play. We hoped that her little but super active brain could understand what we wanted to tell her. Kids imitate the way we behave with them. Hence it becomes very necessary to keep a watch on our behaviour. Instead of scolding or screaming, we should try to sit with them and make them understand. This may not happen in one sitting, but we should keep trying. Had I scolded my daughter, she would have become more aggressive and instead of listening to us, she would have tried to ignore us even more.

Photos from the Internet