If some people do not treat others properly, they need love and help. We do not know anything about their pasts, their burdens and baggage. Nikita tells us how to be more tolerant towards people who are judgmental, rude or unkind towards us, in the weekly column, exclusively for Different Truths.
“If we could look into each other’s hearts and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care.” ~ Marvin J, Ashton
Humare anusaar vo theek nahi chal raha hai (He/she is not doing the right thing as per my opinion) are few words we hear throughout our lives. We are quick to judge and criticise people we know nothing about.
Have you ever noticed a one-limbed person? He is unable to walk like normal human beings. He is different but right.
Would you go ahead and start accusing him of walking differently?
Would you say he is walking intentionally like this to irritate me?
He is not wrong. He walks like that because he is hurt. His legs are not working properly.
When someone continually hurts you, it is his or her nature. They might be doing it unintentionally. They could be unaware of the suffering you undergo.
Most of us love to look at the beautiful red and orange colours of the sunrise or sunset.
How many of us have complained that the sun could have set better today, the orange hues could have been brighter, clouds could have been heavier or sky should not have been so dark. We never do that. We know that nothing we say or do would ever change how the Sun sets.
It goes for people. We can do nothing to change them.
People are not hurting you intentionally.
What they are doing is right from their perspective. We do not know anything about their past. We do not know if they are going through pain. We do not know about the challenges they face in their lives. Our minds are reservoirs of memories from many lives. Our behaviour is a result of a lifetime of experience.
- Anyone who is trying to control your behaviour is already suffering. The one who has completely lost control over himself / herself would look forward to the situation of the desire from others to feel powerful.
- Do not take things personally. What they are saying about you reflects them and not you.
- Forgive them. Do not wait for their apologies. Forgive them even if they are not sorry.
- They do not need hatred. They need love.
- People transform into the best version of themselves when they are loved for their scars.
- Accept the annoying things that they do, weird habits, traits and characteristics that make them unique and one of a kind.
- Look beyond the colour of the skin, texture of hairs, quality of clothes, extra pounds on waist and money in a wallet.
- Tolerance is a tremendous virtue. One cannot truly attain happiness, if he is not accepting things, situations, and people as they are. It is also acceptance of the fact that everything is on the verge of change. Things cannot remain the same, whether good or bad.
Photos sourced by author
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Nikita Goel is a Texas-based writer. She is actively associated with Aagaman Literary and Cultural Society’s English Publications. She has worked as the managing editor for Purple Hues. She has co-authored three books. Her poems have been published in five anthologies. She has been featured online on Readomania, Aagaman -The Arrival, Writers e-zine, Writing Geeks, Literary and Creativity Magazine. Her blog, Enchantress, has been adjudged India’s best blog for three consecutive years.