Anindita writes about Amma, her soulmate. She deals with love and avoid. The person she loved is no more. Love lingers, with sadness. Here’s a personal journey of the writer, exclusively for Different Truths.
flowers and fragrances of sweet
memories walk around the shadows
of moments once cherished
love is a memory that lives each
day in the essence of living…
Amma, my first love has transcended to her own home and here I sit on the terrace of our home, thinking about the days when on pre-Valentine’s night I woke up to give her the flowers that I kept hidden for the moment. She always looked at me and made faces and then laughed out. I cannot forget that moment of innocent love shared by two women of different times.
When a soul-mate is lost, irrationality takes over and the entire world seems to be the culprit. I am suffering for six months now, and I still wish, I knew why she had to leave, but in this month of love, she has sent me a voice that calmed my inner turmoil to some extent. Sometimes, I silently ponder about the changes that are taking place in life and how my acceptance about destiny’s plan has increased. I am moving with the flow, rather questioning the events like I did before.
Losing love is difficult but perhaps that is the only way to bring a new self out. Life knows the reason why we are born and what we are capable of; is that a reason why we lose our closest ones so that we explore our own selves in search of our lost love?
Amma and Dadu went to Flurys in Calcutta to spend moments with each other. Several times she told me how she had felt and how happy she had been when they shared breakfast together. I have kept that place for a special day. And I wonder, when the first time I would enter that nostalgic place, will she too come to see us?
Soon…this year would end too and we will keep circling around days and time, just for tonight I am thinking aloud, love needs to be given a chance; now or never, since it lives in each second and not in the imagination of tomorrows.
Photos from the internet.
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