There was a bandwagon of our Bollywood actors and starlets copy-pasting ‘smash patriarchy’ caption across their Instagram stories in solidarity with Chakraborty. After “nepotism,” “patriarchy” was the next trending word in social media. Sarba examines the gender issue, exclusively for Different Truths.
As a teenager, I remember having an obsession over buying a Che-Guevara graphic T-shirt. Back then, I did not try to learn in-depth about him, all I knew that wearing that T-shirt would make me feel like a rebel, a “cool” teen, a non-conformist.
A few months back, as the Indian news channels splashed images of Rhea Chakraborty wearing a black T-shirt with the caption, “Roses are red, Violets are blue, / Let’s smash the patriarchy, Me and you,” it just got me thinking on how some things never change.
Then, there was a bandwagon of our Bollywood actors and starlets copy-pasting this caption across their Instagram stories in solidarity with Chakraborty as after “nepotism,” “patriarchy” was the next trending word in the sea of social media.
As someone, who has been the silent spectator of the tragic death of Sushant Singh Rajput and all the drama that has followed next, I was seriously wondering if was living a “Black Mirror episode” from Netflix in real life.
We are now swarms of bees who make “Rheatheliar” trend on Twitter, followed by “ReleaseRhea.”
We are the persons who witness women like Sonam Kapoor rant about how privileged she is to be “Anil Kapoor’s daughter” and then post the message on smashing the patriarchy. Double standards for sure.
We are the people who listen to Kangna Ranaut claiming to be a “self-made” woman but brushes off her other peers as “B-grade actresses.”
We are the people who claim to be feminists but don’t wait to validate facts before banishing men in the infamous “Jasleen Kaur” or “BoisLockerRoom” incidents and talk about smashing patriarchy without understanding it’s the root cause.
Repeat that after me. Patriarchy and misogyny don’t have a particular gender. Feminism is all about understanding this fact deeply.
To smash the patriarchy, we need to understand that sometimes women are themselves the most dangerous players in the game.
In rural and urban India, the mother-in-law usually directs her son to beat his wife, the grandmother usually presses to have a male child in the family and women usually become instruments in preventing other women to experience financial, sexual, physical and mental freedom.
Having said all of this, the worst sufferers of patriarchy are also women. Quite a paradox in itself but a harsh reality.
Our enemy in feminism is patriarchy and misogyny, whoever practices that, we need to challenge, question, and make countless attempts to change them.
In the Sushant Singh Rajput case, the vilification and ruthless media trial of Rhea Chakraborty should be challenged yet that should not be confused with making her the cult icon for smashing the patriarchy.
Her request of a CBI inquiry to the Home Minister via Instagram followed by an appeal for the opposite in the Supreme Court, her making an agenda out of a deceased’s mental illness and drug habits while claiming to be completely clean and untouched, her PR campaign of being the victim are things that the law investigation agencies are looking into. Let’s respect that.
The circus is being orchestrated by the leading media houses to divert our attention from the slumping GDP, the rising unemployment, the exponentially rising COVID cases and the shocking spike in crimes against women during the lockdown.
Where were our “pseudo-feminist” celebrities when there was news of gang-rape of COVID positive women in quarantine facilities in New Delhi?
Why hasn’t yet anyone spoken about the rise of cyber-bullying and domestic violence cases against women in lockdown?
Why haven’t we expressed our sadness that women in India are the most unsafe behind the locked doors of their own homes?
To all those men and women who really want to smash the patriarchy, it is not just enough to wear a T-shirt with a caption or to share a trending quote in an Instagram story or brag about your intellectualism in lengthy social media posts without doing anything about it in real life.
To smash the patriarchy, you and me, need to mentor our boys and girls to be independent, responsible and thoughtful in all their actions.
We need to stop our girls from dropping out of education just to get married. We need to sponsor our own weddings without expecting our parents to drown in debt.
We need to vouch for laws that punish gender-based violence cases to the highest degree irrespective of who the perpetrator is. If a woman needs to be hanged to death for the gruesome killing of her daughter-in-law, so be it, there should be no bias.
We have the responsibility of teaching our boys about respecting women and understanding the meaning of consent in relationships, but we also have the equal responsibility of teaching our girls not to cling to rich men to become materially affluent or to fulfill their dreams.
We need to normalise mothers pursuing their careers passionately, we need to work hard to ensure that men and women have an equal opportunity in voting, employment, pay-scale, sexual preferences and property.
Smashing patriarchy is a long, tedious, tiring and unending process of questioning the very beliefs that have oppressed women since centuries.
It is rebelling against men and women who believe that women should be raped, burned and killed if they don’t listen to them.
It is a process of creating an equal world, not where women and men fight in the boxing ring, it is where they pay their bills equally.
Feminism wins when men and women with their unique strengths and capabilities, work together in sync, complimenting each other, filling each other’s gaps and weaknesses for a better world.
Taking an anti-man stand without any thinking, sympathising with a convict based on their gender and vilifying a woman ruthlessly on the social media makes a mockery of feminism.
Roses are red, violets are blue, choosing the right battles for smashing patriarchy, is up to you!
Visuals by Different Truths