Success often goes into the head of most people. Ruchira tells us how the turn of fortune changed her friends and family members in this candid write-up. An exclusive for Different Truths.
We are all familiar with sayings like ‘money talks’ or ‘money makes the world go around.’ Indeed, money holds sway over human lives in this mundane world, more so in modern times. However, it becomes rather distressing when money (read wealth) creates a rift between siblings, friends, and relatives. There is one perpetual question that leaves me perplexed: When folks become upwardly mobile and acquire substantial assets and bank balance, what prompts them to adopt a haughty air, a stand-offish attitude towards near and dear ones which blended with a tendency to show off become a deadly combination.
On a personal plane, I have experienced such behavioural patterns at close quarters. I have changed the names of all the dramatis personae, who figure in the narrative, to safeguard their privacy. Abir, a fellow journalist who began life with a modest salary like mine, gradually became a friend of the family. We spent many happy hours together, until about five years ago, when he relocated to Chennai, to join a reputed media house…
On a personal plane, I have experienced such behavioural patterns at close quarters. I have changed the names of all the dramatis personae, who figure in the narrative, to safeguard their privacy. Abir, a fellow journalist who began life with a modest salary like mine, gradually became a friend of the family. We spent many happy hours together, until about five years ago, when he relocated to Chennai, to join a reputed media house, with a high position and a fat pay packet to boot. Gradually, contact over social media thinned, phone calls were ignored, and text messages unread. Even if I got through, the static reply was: Am busy right now, will get back to you soon. To think I had shared an intellectual camaraderie with him for years!
Later, during my stint with a television channel, I met Rimpy, who was from a lower-middle-class background. She was sloppy in her mannerism and speech. I helped her as best as I could with pronunciation, vocabulary, and grammar. Having honed her skills, she became an efficient newsreader.
Later, during my stint with a television channel, I met Rimpy, who was from a lower-middle-class background. She was sloppy in her mannerism and speech. I helped her as best as I could with pronunciation, vocabulary, and grammar. Having honed her skills, she became an efficient newsreader. Slowly friendly ties were forged between us. During my dark moments, she lent me her shoulder to weep on. I shall always cherish those moments. But all good things must come to an end. Rimpy got into a reputed television channel, and that was the last I saw of her. My efforts to remain in touch were brushed away.
I miss the good old days when we were children. We were eleven cousins in all. During annual vacations, the house would turn into Bedlam. The days were full of fun, mischief, gossip, and escapades galore. We never bothered about whose parents were affluent, and whose were not, which schools each one of us went to, and such like. We were united as friends, companions, and family! Alas, the happy hours were numbered when we reached our twenties. My older female cousins married, one by one. And their attitude changed beyond recognition.
Cousin Ria married an agriculture scientist and settled down in an upscale neighbourhood in Delhi. Initially, I would often drop in at her home. However, after she had kids and moved to a bigger premise, she turned rather stand-offish. She thwarted my plans to visit her with a polite, “Don’t worry I will call you soon.” Surprisingly, that never materialised.
Cousin Ria married an agriculture scientist and settled down in an upscale neighbourhood in Delhi. Initially, I would often drop in at her home. However, after she had kids and moved to a bigger premise, she turned rather stand-offish. She thwarted my plans to visit her with a polite, “Don’t worry I will call you soon.” Surprisingly, that never materialised. When common relatives from other towns came visiting the shrewd woman that she was, she would include me on the guest list and invite everyone for meals at her place.
Another cousin Mallika was meaner. She would invite us to lunch. The menu would invariably include exotic items, things not everyone can afford. (Deliberate or a coincidence?) During informal chitchats, she would enquire about our salaries. Finally, she would disclose hers, which was high. The smug look on her face was unmistakable!
My father doted on her kids. However, he had a strange habit of teaching them naughty (not vulgar) things all in pure fun. Mallika disliked it and on one occasion in full public view she remarked, “Uncle teaches them bad things.” My dad was petrified!
My father doted on her kids. However, he had a strange habit of teaching them naughty (not vulgar) things all in pure fun. Mallika disliked it and on one occasion in full public view she remarked, “Uncle teaches them bad things.” My dad was petrified! Next, he chose to keep in touch with her kids over the phone. Years later, when the children were in high school, each time the old man called them Mallika was heard shrieking in the background warning them to get back to their books rather than wasting time. My father took the cue and then called less frequently.
Ironically, my father, in his youth made ample sacrifices for Mallika’s mother (his sister), got her educated, and finally married a scientist! It is not about gratitude but maintaining good ties with one’s kin.
Rinki is a niece of mine. Her father is a high school graduate but luck favoured him and now he runs a flourishing business. This upward mobility made her snobbish.
Rinki is a niece of mine. Her father is a high school graduate but luck favoured him and now he runs a flourishing business. This upward mobility made her snobbish. Having met her after her family returned from a trip to Goa, I enquired how it went. The rejoinder was, “Oh! We stayed in Fort Aguada Resort…” Apparently Goa’s fabled beauty mattered little to this worshipper of Mammon! My never-ending saga of unpleasant experiences.
Bulbuli, another cousin went a step higher. On a blistering June day shortly after her wedding, she walked in (with her spouse in tow) uninvited and without prior intimation. My father was out of town. However, we managed to organise a modest lunch for them. Though cramped for space, yet we requested them to stay the night in our home. They declined. The visit ended on a cordial note.
The horror of horrors, the following week, a bombshell in the shape of a letter arrived from my aunt. She alleged that we had not accorded them a reception befitting a new son-in-law. They deserved VIP treatment.
The horror of horrors, the following week, a bombshell in the shape of a letter arrived from my aunt. She alleged that we had not accorded them a reception befitting a new son-in-law. They deserved VIP treatment. Why? Because Bulbuli had been accepted for a Ph.D., and he for a PG in medicine by American universities. They would head to the US of A once the wedding hullabaloo subsided. Furiously, she dragged her siblings into the fray. The family bonhomie was thus shattered.
Years later, upon first meeting my husband Bulbuli, gifted him a cologne with the price tag on, besides a cufflink-tie pin ensemble with the tie pin missing! If this is not humiliating enough, what is? I felt dumped by a big sister, who had been my intellectual idol through school and college years. It had gone beyond my wildest dreams that such a deep chasm would arise between us – all because of money. It stifles, nay murders sincerest emotions.
Today, she leads a luxurious, bountiful life in a swanky American town, and is a self-proclaimed philanthropist via her social and charitable deeds. The world’s most outstanding philanthropists would turn in their graves due to such audacity.
Today, she leads a luxurious, bountiful life in a swanky American town, and is a self-proclaimed philanthropist via her social and charitable deeds. The world’s most outstanding philanthropists would turn in their graves due to such audacity. For all we know, they are most likely to have maintained low profiles, while serving their less fortunate brethren. On the face of it, all seems to be well, but the yesteryears of Bulbuli and me are lost forever!
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