If you want to belong to the hot and happening crowd, it’s necessary to have a trophy girlfriend or a dashing dude as boyfriend. It’s a fad and fashion; the in-thing. It’s the peer pressure among the youth. Social media fans our need (read greed) for attention and acceptance. The young, often brash and exuberant, throw caution to the winds. If they get dumped in their love lives, which is often, they feel that an immense ‘tragedy’ has befallen them. They give so much importance to the trivia that their focus from their main goal shifts. Subhajit takes gives us a slice of the life that today’s youth live, in the weekly column, The NextGen, beginning today, exclusively for Different Truths.
It takes a long time, in fact years to recreate something from the broken and smashed pieces. You have to clean up all the mess, gather the usable parts from them, chalk out a new plan and then act on it to begin life afresh. However, our generation takes serious things very lightly and the trivia becomes matter of serious deliberations. Tragedy, for us, is like a daily routine that juggles in the blood. This tragedy is rather restricted to our inner self, the typical brainstorm and mood swings, followed by the paradoxical war of the mind and heart that usually lasts for an hour, a day or even for a month. Strange, isn’t it!
It would be even more fun to know the usual cause behind such ‘tragedy’. We, in general, have a common tendency of boasting and showing off: both our power and efficacy, as well as our defects and weakness. We would be inferior to others if we don’t assert (read overdo) ourselves is the normal thought processes. That’s when we give way to our miseries. The cunning foxes and vixens among us, either like us or remain silent spectators. They stealthily enter our lives often with their ulterior motives.
Let me just cite an everyday. A boy finds heavenly bliss in the company of a beautiful, charming girl and is on Cloud Nine if she is his trophy girlfriend. Often, if not always, in his brashness, he overlooks what kind of a person is she. His aim is to win her over, at any cost. God help him if he is not rich. But, if he is rich then he would not need much time to find a trophy girlfriend. His search would be facilitated by his credit cards and big fat wallet.
How often you would find girls discussing about catching a rich brat, just like fishing. It seems as if the bees have found their nectar! Boys shall prance like wild animals in forests with their flings, for days or months. The story doesn’t take much time to change. Often the dude moves on to greener pastures dumping the pretty girl, all messed up. He just leaves and let her rot in hell. For the girl, this is ‘tragedy’. Emotional quotient is often missing these days. The ‘hurt’ is more due to wounded ego.
It would be wrong to say that dudes dump gals. Often, if not always, the ‘beauties’ want a handsome knight beside them (hot and happening as they say), provided he is generous. In the showoff time, the lasses too are in search of better dudes. Once their need is fulfilled, they need space. The lovelorn guy is dumped for a better suitor. Such youngsters are broken. Guys don’t cry adage makes them the ‘hurt lover’ (read Devdas-look), unkempt and uncared for!
The funniest part is that we give away our 15-minute tragedies too easily. We blabber and share our ‘hurt’ with our friends and pretend as if we weren’t wrong! If we were that helpless, then why do we share our silliness and make ourselves vulnerable to gossips and giggles?
Does it make us popular? Perhaps it does! The teenagers and the youth crave for popularity – no matter which way it cuts. It’s like a mania. We crave for attention and acceptance is deep. Perhaps it has something to do with our raging hormones.
Anyhow, this is how a naive teenager defines ‘tragedy’. It’s a complicated emotion of sorrow and anxiety of what the future might hold. Will (s)he have anything good or will (s)he keep on falling from grace?
Some of the common statements that we hear in college canteens or among our peers, after their love life comes crashing are: “How long will this shit last?”, "God, it stinks!”, “Wtf, why was I cast away” and lots more. A relatively trivial issue turns is exaggerated out of proportions.
Often, we forget important concerns. Our focus shifts to the superficial issues and keeps on magnifying, fueled by our imaginations and insecurities. Career oriented dreams are tossed over the left shoulder. Our tragedies become way too important for us.
Shaking off the prolonged depression seems impossible. The very next moment, a new fantasy catches sight. It’s like chasing mirage. We often get lured by the green moss, and in our foolishness, we leave behind the lotuses.
Flings and infatuations enslave us. We seek for acceptance and popularity. The social media comes in handy. It fuels many dangerous dreams. We frequently update statuses and change profile pics. We teens kind of socialise to an extent that even our private life becomes a social product. Depression, followed by addiction and then counselling enters our routine. We often make a real mess of our real lives. The lure of the distant and the virtual is too compelling!
It is not just that teenagers keep messing around. There are exceptional ones making history. What makes us strong is our will power, unity and strength. There is not darkness everywhere. There are rays of light. All we need is to see through the odds and identify the silver lining. Flings are imposters, so are peer pressures to have girlfriends or boyfriends.
A serious involvement with a level headed person, who respects you for what you are is welcome. It’s rare. But, no use wasting our precious times and lives on silly things. All we need is determination to ward off the fashionable and ‘in-thing’ lives. Let’s keep our gaze fixed on our goals.
©Subhajit Sanyal
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