When the kids become parents themselves then only they discover their parents’ awesomeness. The mother-daughter bond strengthens when the daughter becomes a radiant expectant mother. She trusts her mother implicitly for every advice she had till now ignored. From a mother who knew nothing, her mother is upgraded to a person who knows everything, opines Mamta, exclusively in Different Truths.
Somewhere Sherri Lawrence Williams lines resonate deeply:
The bond we created from my womb
To the day you were born
To a mother and daughter bond
That can never be torn.
My sensors become active. The lines make so much sense now as one is closer to Vanaprastha ashram though this verse has been floating on the net for a long time.
Every relationship evolves over a period of time. The clichéd statement that the only constant in life is the change. It is so very true.
As one grows older, life can be chronicled by looking back, warts and all and accept it with tranquillity, without ruffled feelings.
There were definitely hiccups and heart burns on the journey but with time the acidic feelings and reactions become alkaline. There is no remorse, just an overwhelming emotion, rich in texture that one leads one’s life, the way one wanted it.
Being a woman, straddling the workplace and home, I have always felt Indian women blossom late, around 35 years of age.
The women are more in control of their trajectory after 35, having gone through the high tide and the neap tide of life. They become wise enough to wait for the choppy sea to become calm and then unleash themselves.
Shedding their pigtails, puppy fat and braces, the young girls finish school, college and become busy with teething troubles like coming out of their parents domain, getting adjusted to the newfound economic freedom, getting over relationships, finding a suitable guy, settling for matrimony, procreation and then for a life of never-ending parenting.
When a woman gives birth to a child, she experiences not just tremendous physical pain but a far deeper, more visceral pain, the shock waves that leave her reeling forever into a stratosphere as it is truly out of this world feeling.
Every nano-fibre of a woman’s being is involved in bringing up the child. She is like an admin, looking into the moral, emotional, physical and cerebral growth of the child. She overreacts to every burp, every stool and every particle of curdled milk the baby throws up.
Every stage adds to the mental turmoil. The length, breadth and the height of children, coming late from a class, a messed-up report card, eating too much or too little, the worries never cease.
It becomes difficult for the indulgent mother to realise that the little one is not such a tyke when the child becomes critical or deeply embarrassed by the effusive behaviour, especially in public. The parent-teacher meetings in school, the birthday parties, the get-togethers are great lessons in the learning curve where the mother learns a lot about do’s and don’ts from the little ones and grows up with the growing children, lest they disown her in public.
Roles reverse and both parties start respecting the warning note in the tone or the cautionary glare in the
eyes. An invisible line is drawn. This far and no further!
When the kids become parents themselves then only they discover their parents’ awesomeness. The mother-daughter bond strengthens when the daughter becomes a radiant expectant mother. She trusts her mother implicitly for every advice she had till now ignored. From a mother who knew nothing, her mother is upgraded to a person who knows everything.
They become womb mates. It’s not a contentious relationship anymore. It’s more organic and wholesome. They don’t need their peer group all the time to confide in. The invisible line that restrained the free flow of emotions is erased. The small anxieties, fears, desires come tumbling out. The senior mater soothes and the young mother basks in the loving lap, comforted, rejuvenated and reassured. Womb-mates build forever – bridges not walls!
©Mamta Joshi
Photos from the Internet
#RoleReversal #GrowingOld #Relationship #Wholesome #DifferentTruths
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