Payal traces the etymology of the housewife pointing out that feminists find it derogatory. She advocates for ungendered terminology to chuck the word, housewife, in the dustbin. Here’s her erudite account, in the weekly column, exclusively in Different Truths.
At the beginning of the school year in Grade 11, high school kids choose their streams – Humanities, Commerce or Science. Most of the boys wanted to opt for commerce or Science, even though many had a better aptitude for Humanities. Deep digging by the school revealed that the boys thought of and referred to Humanities as the ‘Housewives’ course, sending subjects such as History, Geography, Psychology, Sociology, Economics and Languages hurtling down to the bottom of the ladder. Obviously, the feeling was that these subjects were not really worthy of study or academic import.
I find it interesting that so unerringly did the boys pick up the most devalued and detrimental occupation – being a housewife. In a school, where over 60% of mothers, in fact, are housewives, it is interesting that the children pick up on it as a non-starter in terms of occupations. Many of the women sending their children to this extremely elite school have, in fact, had the luxury of giving up their careers in order to rear their kids and manage their homes.
Etymology of the word Housewife: housewife (n.) Early 13c., husewif, “woman, usually married, in charge of a family or household; wife of a householder,” from huse “house” [see house (n.)] + wif “woman”
Compare husband (n.) Old English husbonda “male head of a household, master of a house, householder,” probably from Old Norse husbondi “master of the house,” literally “house-dweller,” from hus “house” [see house (n.)] + bondi “householder, dweller, freeholder, peasant,” from buandi, present participle of bua “to dwell”.
The word ‘wife’ or ‘wyf’ simply meant woman. It was only but the thirteenth century that it came to denote a ‘married woman’. And it took even longer for the term housewife to begin its downward slide into denoting a soap opera watching, brain dead, bon bon eating bimbette. I certainly have never come across one example of that kind. Or for that matter met a woman who just ‘sits at home’ a phrase uniformly and unfairly employed across the globe.
The problem started with the implication in definitions such as these: Housewife – a married lady, usually
unemployed who occupies herself with the management of home and children.
Today, in the 21st century, the term ‘housewife’ has come to be mildly pejorative and wholly demeaning, such that women prefer to be known as ‘homemakers’ rather than housewives. The reason for this even on superficial examination, is the implication we read into words. In addition i, signifies being ‘bonded to both the house and the husband’. And before you say I am wrong – in many countries, legally, a wife was deemed to belong to her husband, and he was the manager and inheritor of any wealth that came to her from her family. She needed his permission to open a bank account, get a driving license, and yes to vote or stand for election.
How many times have you heard someone say, ‘Oh! She’s just a housewife,’ as if that were something useless. Feminists reject that term because of the implication of somehow ‘belonging to the house’ of being unable to engage in anything other than household drudgery. It carries with it a resonance of ‘is not capable of doing anything else’ which is so cleverly picked up by the high school children who refer to humanities as the ‘Housewife’s stream’.
Somewhere there, is hidden the disparagement modern society feels towards a woman who looks after home. And kids, And husband. Not surprising, because it is a thankless job that does not bring any documented wages and hence has a poor valuation on an economic scale.
Housewife is definitely one of the words that need to go into the dustbin of time. It does not bring any positive valuation to the job that homemakers or stay at home moms or dads do. I asked a random sampling of men, who objected to my rejection of the word ‘housewife’, if they would be happy to be called a house husband – not one of them accepted the term.
I would actually argue that ‘husband’ and ‘wife’ are old fashioned terms too. We need to find an un-gendered term that works for both sexes. Until then, we must work with ‘spouse’ and ‘partner’ as replacement words.
And so, we would rather be known as homemakers. This term has the implication of something being created of value to society. Secondly, it implies a ‘choice’. And last but equally important it is gender agnostic – a man could as well be a ‘homemaker’ as a woman. And wonderfully, many men are, choosing to look after home and children while women pursue their careers.
Homemaker also allows for other family members to contribute in household tasks by taking away the onus from the long suffering house wife. Within the context of home making lies teaching the kids to make their own beds and picking up after themselves. It allows the ‘spouse’ to cook a meal or be responsible for the kids. It gives the stay at home mom or dad her/his time in the sun with delegation of duties.
Bye, bye Housewife – I feel for you but I am happy to see you go.
©Payal Talreja
Photos from the Internet.
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