Suveera tells us how her family-of-friends became her family in a distant land in Hong Kong, in the weekly column, exclusively for Different Truths.
I still remember very clearly how five years ago, we tried to gather our life and packed it into four suitcases, bid teary goodbyes to our families back home in Delhi and moved to Hong Kong, with two little kids in tow. It was our first attempt at normalcy, after leading a nomadic life, sailing from one country to another, with as long as six months out at sea.
The idea of moving to Hong Kong was novel and romantic for us. The lure of leading a conventional life, where you go to work during the day, and actually come back home in the evening.
It was a different more stable life that Hong Kong seemed to promise, even though at the risk of leaving the comfort and security of family, and familiarity behind.
This is a dilemma that all expats face, when just moving to new horizons, and alien nations. It’s a tough call to choose between the security of family and friends and the hope of a better lifestyle. As I now look back and see, I realise that I have over the years, built a chosen family-of-friends right here in my new home Hong Kong. Each one of them valuable and cherished in their own special way. Like a bouquet of flowers, each flower uniquely beautiful in itself and adding to the beauty, even more, when together. Each one enriching my life in their own special way.
Friendships get even more meaningful when the family is not around. When in times of need, you need someone to help, someone to entrust your children within the event of emergencies and sudden trips overseas. The commonly shared experiences and similar challenges of living, forge a strong bond. These friendships bring about a positivity when everything seems negative in life.
There have been days when I was sick, and friends have provided hot meals, times when they have gone grocery shopping for me, taken my kids under their care for the day, provided advice in times of turmoil, and more.
There have been many fun evenings filled with meaningful and meaningless chatter, of drunk dances, days of hikes to distant mountains, lazy days at the beach, relaxed Sunday brunches, times of laughter and tears.
Of course, there are days when I miss my family back home in India, but thanks to my friends here, life is meaningful and enjoyable. My family-of-friends here is my pillar of support.
Just like you share different relationships with different family members, the same way friends have taken on different roles here in life. There is this one friend who is always available for the cathartic shopping trip. Another one who is the no-nonsense practical type who points you towards clarity and puts problems into perspective. Then there is the foodie, who is always ready for adventures that lead to the stomach. Yet another who will kick you to achieve your fitness goals.
It is said that in life if you have even one or two all-weather friends, consider yourself lucky. This is very much true, but then I often think, every friend contributes to your life in a special way, so I guess with all of them put together, I have all my seasons covered!
Indeed each friend brings about and nurtures a part of us, an aspect of our personality that is not realised until they arrive. The touch a part of your heart and make it bloom.
I have realised so much about myself due to my friends, so many interests that have been lying dormant, have been awakened on initiation by a dear friend.
I have had some great times, with some crazy friends, created some amazing memories, been pulled out of the blues, and kicked into action.
It is indeed true, as said by one of my dear friends, “There is nothing that cannot be cured with a day out shopping and coffee with a good friend.”
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