Ruchira talks of the lavish, theme-based weddings, where a showoff of wealth translates into status symbols. What is the way out? An exclusive for Different Truths.
The trend is growing stronger by the day. What was originally envisaged as a solemn socio-religious event, a rite of passage has now become a potpourri of fun, frolic, and cheap entertainment. Over the last few decades ‘theme weddings’ have come to the forefront. Consequently, event (read wedding) management companies have mushroomed everywhere. And they handout mind-blowing, fabulous packages, which fire the imagination of their prospective customers.
Most people of my generation have had glamorous weddings, while others simple, low profile ones. But the present generation certainly takes the cake so far as weddings go. Five years ago, a niece of mine got hitched. The lavish programme spanned five days.
Most people of my generation have had glamorous weddings, while others simple, low profile ones. But the present generation certainly takes the cake so far as weddings go. Five years ago, a niece of mine got hitched. The lavish programme spanned five days. On day one, for the ring ceremony, we were conveyed from Delhi to a luxury hotel way out in Gurugram. The ring exchange, cake cutting followed by a lavish dinner lasted about four hours in all. The entire expenses came to about Rs 20 lakhs, so we were told later. The second day involved mehendi ceremony (in vogue among Bengalis now, though never a tradition) clubbed with the ritual worship of the family deity Gopinath. A sumptuous high tea was included. The third day was earmarked for aashirbad, wherein the elders on both sides bless the couple to be, showering them with gifts. It was again an elaborate affair with expensive gifts changing hands, rounded off with yet another exotic lunch. These occasions were marked by DJs belting out raucous music blaring nonstop, with crazy youngsters shaking a leg or two.
Next was the D-Day when the actual nuptials were to be solemnised. The scene was no different. The groom’s party arrived with gaudy glitzy gaaye holuder tattva (gift items for the haldi ceremony), which ideally comprise a fresh sari, vermilion/sindoor, altaa /lacquer foot paint, cosmetics, whole uncut fish, not forgetting an array of sweets, etc. But here the keynote was a show, show, and more show! In the evening, as the ceremonies began, we were dumbstruck to see the groom clad in a western ensemble, arriving at the venue on horseback. It was so ridiculous! Beats me how such people boast of upholding Bangaliana (Bong tradition and ethos)!
The reception on the following day, saw the new bahu being ushered in at the party venue with a canopy over her head; its four corners being held up members of her family. It had an uncanny resemblance with Jewish weddings. It also reminded one, of the chhadnatola of Bengali mandaps where the couples exchange garlands. There was deafening music, hip hop dance and mad revelry.
The reception on the following day, saw the new bahu being ushered in at the party venue with a canopy over her head; its four corners being held up members of her family. It had an uncanny resemblance with Jewish weddings. It also reminded one, of the chhadnatola of Bengali mandaps where the couples exchange garlands. There were deafening music, hip hop dance and mad revelry. I wish they had instead played some shehnai renditions, which vividly heighten the emotional ambience on such occasions.
While the entire world lay reeling under the impact of the pandemic, another niece of mine, a US-based scientist was in a tearing hurry to tie the knot with her longtime beau, a techie by profession. Between themselves, they had oodles of money. So, they planned a scintillating fairytale wedding that would be the talk of the town. A resort in the remote countryside, offering astronomical rates was hired. Their closest mutual friends and relatives were invited as guests cum witnesses. The ceremony was watched – punctuated by gasps, screams, and exclamations – live online by dozens of friends and relatives of either family. The marvels of modern science!
In yet another instance, a distant relative of ours, who lives in Scandinavia, married a young thing, from Kolkata. Theirs too was a hatke wedding in the sense that their engagement ceremony followed by the actual wedding almost a year later was a gala affair though less ostentatious than those described earlier.
In yet another instance, a distant relative of ours, who lives in Scandinavia, married a young thing, from Kolkata. Theirs too was a hatke wedding in the sense that their engagement ceremony followed by the actual wedding almost a year later was a gala affair though less ostentatious than those described earlier. I have no bones to pick with anyone. Honestly, these weddings were highly pleasurable and enjoyable for self and family. However, what mystifies me is the intensity of a grand display of wealth and resources that mark these occasions. What is this competition, this extravaganza all about? What good will this aggressive spending achieve?
Ponder this: If your resources are enough and to spare, then why not spend it in a judicious manner, for the greater good of people? Instead of all the razzmatazz, donate generously (in cash and kind) to orphanages, destitute homes, etc. Trust me, sincerest blessings – emanating from the hearts of the hapless folks – will swathe the newly-weds. Having said that, I don’t advocate lacklustre weddings. I only wish to emphasise, the futility of elongating, stretching those rituals and ceremonies which – shorn of fanfare – may be condensed into a few hours at best. Secondly, inviting hordes of guests boils down to colossal wastage of funds and supplies. Wouldn’t it be a better idea to clip the guest list down to intimate friends and closest relatives? Moreover, such affluent parents would also do well to sponsor simple weddings for eligible but poor youths, whose dreams of marriage die untimely deaths owing to the paucity of funds.
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