Anumita shares the fun and funny moments of being a mother of two sons. Here are some interesting anecdotes to laugh along, in the weekly column, exclusively for Different Truths.
Motherhood has its victories and defeats. It has those moments which you are not sure how to categorise. Kids can say the strangest things and often leave the adults either speechless or so embarrassed that the only thing they would want to do it to find a quick escape.
Well, I had my share of those ‘Oh! Oh!’ moments and have survived most of them still keeping the mother queen crown on my head. My two sons have provided enough of such incidences thatI can fill in a notebook for sure.
Last year, my elder son was visiting home during his winter break. He and his brother were having lunch at the dining table and I was working on an article, on my laptop at the other end of the table. During their meal, each one of them kept burping. I ignored the first few then, crossed my eye brows and looked up at their crazy orchestra. “Please guys. There is a lady present here,” I mentioned with annoyance steaming from my voice. To my utter disbelief my younger boy shot up from his chair and started looking all around. “Where, where, where” he said with mock shock expression on his face. I looked with my mouth hanging open. My elder one kicked his brother under the table and warned him to cut it off by slicing his hand through the air in front of his throat.
I kept looking at them, as the elder brother hissed between his teeth, “Its mom, she is talking about herself, you silly.” My little one looked at me in the most angelic smile and said, “But mom, it is you…MOM…not anyone else, and especially not a lady!” I burst out laughing and joined in the fun. I am not sure to this day – was I to be offended or should have felt good about the whole situation!”
I narrated this story to my Ma over the phone next morning. My Ma had her share of laughter. Then we were reminiscing about some more incidents of my children when they were even younger. She reminded me of one of the shopping trips we had done when my little kiddo was a toddler, barely two years old. I used to do most of the grocery with my little guy in the tow. One particular weekend my husband decided to accompany us to the store.
With daddy pushing the cart, the little fellow thought he was big enough to walk along and not ride in the basket as mom always made him do. I had to let in, and I walked ahead getting things and placing them in the cart. He had his hand firmly on the side of the cart and tried his best to match his tiny legs with his daddy’s long strides. Once we were done with the grocery, my husband asked me to take him and wait on the other side of the line across the checkout counter, so that he could be done faster. I sat down on a bench with him, just across the checkout counter, with my husband waiting in line. When it was my husband’s turn to check out, I watched that he looked confused at the things he was putting on the conveyor belt. His confusion turned into head scratching and eyebrows crossed face. Then he was looking at me totally lost. He motioned to me to come over. As I neared the counter he said, “Since when do you use black lipstick and lip glitter?” I was confused at his question. He picked up the two items in the cart and some more lacy thongs. And there were more in the cart, which neither me nor my husband would ever buy.
My husband’s face turned red and his eyes popped out. I did not remember getting those and could not explain how those got into the cart. The lady at the counter was watching our confusion, and politely said, “I can put them away, if you don’t want them.” My husband hastily gave them to the lady. Then my little one, who was with me, piped, “Mine.” We got to know our mystery shopper.
When kids talk amongst themselves they often say the strangest things about their parents. My neighbour’s daughter and my elder kid were classmates and great friends. None of them were extroverts. I often found them doing homework together in my sunroom. Both reserve and conservative, they rarely talked about anyone or anything. Most of their discussions were about school and things related to school. My kitchen is just adjacent to the sunroom. It was summer and all the windows were open. I was cooking and suddenly my ears heard my name being mentioned among the kids. They were discussing their mothers. My neighbor’s kids said, “My mom is kind of strange, she does weird things and says some things, which I do not understand.”
My son calmly interjected, “Hey, she cannot be weirder than mine.” I was all ears now. I was leaning against my sink, almost had my head through the window trying to hear what comes out my darling son’s mouth about me. “Mom dances while she cooks. Can you believe that?” I almost sunk into the floor. Oh my god! My boy was telling my secrets to the world. My neighbor’s daughter just giggled and said, “Aww that is so cute.” I looked up skywards, and whispered a silent thank you. God, my dignity was still in place!
I can go on and on various such anecdotes of my boys. I am sure all of us moms and dads have enough of stories of their cherubs to share with the world. I would love to hear from you all. Happy parenting, embarrassment, confusion and all other emotions involved. That’s the package of being a mother, I guess.
©Anumita Chatterjee Roy
Photos from the internet.
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