Sycophancy has permeated the Sarkari hierarchies. Soumya tells us, tongue-in-cheek, how a branch head was taught the proper way to shake hands with the CEO. An exclusive for Different Truths.  

The CEO was coming to Delhi. The zonal chief was frantically making arrangements. Welcome banners were posted along the way from the airport. All local officials were to be present. The CEO was to be greeted with the biggest fanfare in history.

Ajay Sharma was heading the south Delhi branch and the airport authorities were his clients. The zonal chief had a bright idea, that the CEO should be greeted right on the tarmac by a guard of honor of local officials and escorted in with pomp. Poor Ajay had to make this possible.

Those days terror threats were unheard of, and security was pretty lax in domestic airports. So, after much cajoling and bamboozling, this was arranged by Ajay.

Grand Welcome

Thus, when the CEO climbed down the steps, there was a crowd of people with banners and flowers waiting to welcome him

After the initial greetings, the officials stood in a line and the CEO was introduced to everyone.

What astounded Ajay was that the people were touching the CEOs feet or rather most were making the Punjabi gesture of feet touching, consisting of bending from the waist, eyes downcast, arm extended towards the general direction of the knees, and verbally saying I’m falling at your feet. “Pairi payna” or “pai lagu.”

The CEO in turn would raise his hand in benediction saying, “Jite raho puttar.”

Feet Touching

Feet touching in Ajay’s family was limited to festival time and only for the senior citizens or parents. There was no way he was going to do that for an office boss, however senior.

So, when his turn came, Ajay shook his hand. A slightly taken aback CEO shook it back.

After the zonal chief, known as badey miyan to the juniors, left with the CEO, his sidekick known as chote miyan, came up to Ajay. Ajay had noticed the little huddle that badey and chote had before they left, ominously looking in his direction and nodding.

Now, Chote came up to Ajay and addressed the crowd and said, look at the guy, shaking hands with the CEO like an equal. Direct officers think they are the IAS

The assembly nodded seriously, looking sufficiently shocked

Against Protocol

Ajay was defensive. He stubbornly replied that he doesn’t touch anybody except his parents’ or grandparents’ feet and can’t do so in the office. Anyway, it’s against protocol. Shaking hands is the accepted mode of greeting, if not the folded hands Namaste.

Chote replied that OK but is this the way to shake a senior’s hand?

Now, Ajay was perplexed. What other way is there?

Chote asked some colleagues to show him.

So, two of his colleagues enacted the method.

Ingratiating Street Dogs

It’s a hand below another, parallel to the ground. Body bent in the shape of a comma. Head down. A submissive grin on the face, holding the boss’ hand between the hands and bringing it close to the forehead. The attitude reminded him strongly of street dogs trying to ingratiate themselves with their master to avoid a beating.

That, he learned today, was the correct way of shaking hands with a senior.

For future reference, he decided to follow the system adopted by the ladies. It’s simply both hands folded, Namaste.

Visuals by Different Truths

Soumya Mukherjee

Soumya Mukherjee is an alumnus of St Stephens College and Delhi School of Economics. He earns his daily bread by working for a PSU Insurance company, and lectures for peanuts. His other passions, family, friends, films, travel, food, trekking, wildlife, music, theater, and occasionally, writing. He has been published in many national newspapers of repute. He has published his first novel, Memories, a novella, hopefully, the first of his many books. He blogs as well.

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