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We just do not realise how important acceptance is. Hence for anyone to be able to get something done or contribute it is important to create acceptance of ourselves with everyone in the group, opines Preeyan, in the weekly column, exclusively for Different Truths.
A friend of mine mentioned this to me a few days ago and it struck a chord in my understanding of development and growth. Acceptance is a key to making or breaking your career. It is the acceptance, of your presence, your point of view or your capabilities that allow people to comprehend you. It is very important to take care of this.
Some people are very loud, but we don’t pay a heed to what they say, some people keep talking like they have verbal diarrhea and still, we don’t get the point, some people keep pushing their point of view to an extent of complete mental harassment and yet we don’t accept that view. You will realise that it is the acceptance of that person that we lack, which makes us not to listen or comprehend with him.
Acceptance is like a multiplier in your life, the result of everything we do is a multiple of the level of acceptance, if acceptance level is zero then we cannot expect a result because, like I said earlier, it works as a multiplier. So, whatever effort you put in, without acceptance the result is always zero. We have seen that many times and maybe just did not realise.
I remember a school teacher who was never accepted in our class in my higher secondary and the result was that none of us learned anything from him. The person was not bad, nor was he a bad teacher, it was just that he failed to build the trust and acceptance of the students.
Many of us have this irritating uncle, who pokes his nose in all our business and even when he says something good for us we just stay tuned off on whatever is said.
We just do not realise how important acceptance is. Hence for anyone to be able to get something done or contribute it is important to create acceptance of ourselves with everyone in the group.
Developing this acceptance must be done by socializing. We must be approachable, a good listener and a good friend. These are some must do’s that I believe if we follow will allow us to be accepted by people around us.
Be approachable, this does not mean that you wait for people to approach you, the person who always approaches first tends to hold the upper hand in a formal setup. So, it’s always good to be the first to smile and wish a good day for someone. This will create a feeling for people that you are easily approachable, that’s where you start. Always try to mingle with people, sometimes just barging in when a group of people is seemingly having fun and indulging in some light moment will help you achieve this. Try not to be the one who is not present when people are around. It makes people feel that you are closed and not approachable.
Sometimes the position we hold in a group tends to overwhelm us that we tend to keep talking and do not listen to people. A listener will always listen to understand and not listen to respond. Always try to ensure that you listen to people in a conversation and not allow yourself to go on to an enthusiastic monologue. When you stop listening, people start to distance themselves from you. It happens between fathers and sons so there is no exception. Though I am afraid, I keep repeating myself that I do because I find a lot of people stuck in their own world not being able to break the shackles and get wasted without being able to contribute.
Being a friend is about being present, being caring, being understanding and we can keep mentioning more words on this. All of us know what a friend should be. We need to understand that a friend is one who we trust the most and listen to, sometimes even more than we listen to ourselves. That is the importance of this position that we need to create. This position will help us gain the acceptance. Then you will be able to pursue results and deliver at any level.
Gaining this acceptance is not easy as I may have made it sound but it is not rocket science either. It is an aspect which is more behavioral than physical. Hence it must be made a habit, old habits die hard, so we must make up our mind if we want to achieve this acceptance. We must be open, and we must accept that we do not know everything and there is nothing wrong with being open. This will only help us stay grounded and gain that acceptance. It is important that we never let anything disturb this acceptance because it only takes on a small incident and then you tend to lose your ground.
Stay cool, stay smart
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