Technocrat and administrator, Neelam Saxena Chandra, tells us what it means to be a poet and author, balancing home, work, and her creative impulse. She has achieved convergence of two divergent disciplines, engineering and literature. An exclusive for Different Truths.
A brilliant student, smart thinker, poet and author, Neelam Saxena Chandra, is also excellent in managing time. An able Technocrat and administrator, she is at present the Additional Divisional Railway Manager (ADRM) of the Pune Division of the Indian Railways.
An eclectic scholar and prolific bilingual poet-author, she said, “People think that Engineering and Literature are two different things – but I always felt that they were one. My mind always stayed balanced because of the intermingling of the two. From the literature, I drew my motivation and Engineering was my dream. So, both co-existed and kept getting inspired by each other.” Neelam in conversation with our Editor-in-Chief, Arindam Roy.
Arindam: I recall a tele-talk with you many moons ago. You were a brilliant student, and you wrote your first poem as a schoolgirl, perhaps in class V or VI. You know several languages. What were the formative years – childhood and adolescence – of a prolific poet-writer that we see today?
Neelam: Oh, you remember so well! Yes, I wrote my first poem in Class VI. I just penned what I observed around me.
As a child, I was a very quiet person, hardly interacting with others. That made me a keen onlooker, forming my opinions at a very young age. You can say, I was quite matured.
I used to be extremely good at Mathematics and Science. I also loved reading good literature and our school library had wonderful and rare books. I dreamt to be a great Engineer or a Research Scientist, but that dream was made possible because of what I read. The autobiographies and biographies of famous persons made me realise one thing which has always helped me in life. What others think of you is based on their judgement and doesn’t matter much in the long run. What matters is what you think of yourself and in that little thought lies immense strength. I dreamt of being an achiever, despite all odd circumstances. And whether others think of me as one is immaterial – I do feel that it was God’s grace that I reached where I am and I do call myself an achiever. Of course, what you can achieve is limitless, and I shall try to surpass my own achievements, but I am a contented person today.
Arindam: What were your challenges as an engineering student to keep your interest in poetry and literature alive? You started publishing your poems in the 21st century though the die had been cast in the 20th century. Tell us about your poetic sensibility and its evolution bridging the two centuries.
Neelam: People think that Engineering and Literature are two different things – but I always felt that they were one. My mind always stayed balanced because of the intermingling of the two. From literature, I drew my motivation and Engineering was my dream. So, both co-existed and kept getting inspired by each other.
Centuries don’t necessarily change the sensibilities, do they? I am sure that those keen on poetry still read William Wordsworth or Milton or even Kabir if you think about our own country, isn’t it? Poetry doesn’t have an age and is timeless.
Yeah, I did make conscious efforts to understand what different generation aspires for. Being an extrovert now, I have friends right from the age of twenty-two to eighty. And I am close to all of them. I try to understand each one of them, and it’s my glimpse into the society of yesterday as well as today.
Arindam: In about 12 years, you have published over 50 books in English and Hindi. With a high-pressure job as an Additional Divisional Railway Manager, your family and friends, your time management must be exemplary. Moreover, as a lady in a patriarchal setup, how do you manage home, work and writing with such ease?
Neelam: Yeah, my job is very hectic, and I am continuously working. In my kind of job, you get phone calls even at night regarding various issues – after all, trains are always running. However, the biggest secret of my being able to write so much is that I don’t watch television. In fact, at present, I don’t even own a television. I read newspapers for the news which I wish to know more about. So, that practically leaves me with some time in the morning or in the night, when I can write. Writing is rather a habit that keeps me motivated to do my official work well. It’s like meditating, and I know that it’s bound to make me more focused and relaxed while working.
Arindam: Is poetry a spontaneous overflow or meticulous structuring and revision? Or is it both? Are creativity and criticism two sides of the same coin? Finally, what is your call/mission as a poet?
Neelam: Mostly, for me, writing poetry is a spontaneous overflow. I am a very sensitive person. If I see someone in pain, or I see a horrendous scene, the only way to calm my own mind is to write. It’s my personal feeling and the raw emotions that touch the heart of readers more than anything else. I do let the poem or story that I have written remain for some time and read it again to check for grammatical or typographical errors, but I rarely touch the emotions during such revisions.
While writing a novel, things are a bit different and I do go for meticulous structuring and revision at times, when I feel that the character that I was trying to build or the plot that I had envisaged is not turning out the way it should be.
Creativity and criticism are essentially two sides of the same coin. Without positive criticism, you can’t improve and often remain dull and monotonous. However, one should be able to differentiate if the criticism is genuine or because of some other selfish reasons.
I have no mission as a poet/writer. For me, writing is a journey that I am enjoying. It has no goals. If something comes up my way, it makes me happy – otherwise, I still enjoy the journey. I think I will write until my last breath.
Arindam: You inspire us. Do you follow a regular workout and writing schedules? What is your mantra to keep the spark of a poet-writer alive? What kind of a person are you at home, among friends, at work? What are life’s lessons, from your experiences, for the younger poets?
Neelam: Different Truths (DT) has always encouraged me in my journey of writing and I am so blessed to have such friends. Thanks for your kind words.
No, I am not able to follow a regular writing schedule in view of my job requirements, though I would very much like to. But, maybe, the desire to write grows manifold whenever I am not able to write. After all, it’s a part of me.
I don’t have any particular mantra to keep the spark of a poet-writer alive, because it’s always there deeply embedded in my soul. How can anyone remove something that’s inside your soul?
I am an extrovert person having a lot of friends, whom I deeply adore. Each of my friends is a gem. At home, I am just normal. My daughter, who reads much more than me, and writes wonderful poetry, is my biggest critic and is the biggest reason for my improvisation. At work, I am a strict administrator. I don’t leave a person who’s at fault, however, the kindness flows when I see someone is wronged.
For life’s lessons, I would like to quote two stanza of a poem I have loved ever since my childhood (whose poet I came to know only when the internet was easily accessible). Well, the poet is Walter D. Wintle.
If you think you are beaten, you are;
If you think you dare not, you don’t.
If you’d like to win, but you think you can’t,
It is almost a cinch you won’t.
Life’s battles don’t always go
To the stronger or faster man;
But sooner or later the person who wins
Is the one who thinks he can!
So, always believe in yourselves. You may have to toil to achieve what you aspire for, but you will always get it if you keenly desire to do something.
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Five Poems of Neelam Saxena Chandra
Dishonesty
Most often,
On the social media,
I see dishonest people,
Giving dishonest reactions.
They like posts,
When their heart says,
“Oh! This is so horrible”;
They comment on posts,
Mostly because they wish
Their own posts to be commented upon;
And very often their comments are eulogies,
When it happens to be the post of a celebrity.
They don’t even hesitate
To troll upon a post,
If it means that it will fetch them attention.
But, what to say about social media?
People have been used to doing it
Even in actual life.
Social media has made things
All the easier because of the availability of access.
Dishonesty has been
A part and parcel of humankind since eons,
Only the extent has varied.
May be, as your horizon of influence increases,
You should always have a few honest people
In the bouquet of your friends,
They shall always keep you
Grounded.
Dreams
Panting breaths,
Aching legs,
Unclear vision,
Shivering body,
Hands struggling to hold the dangling rope;
And yet, the dream of conquering
That lofty mountain peak,
Makes the mountaineers carry on.
Dreams are what
Define you and your existence.
A person without dreams
Is already dead,
And who likes decaying corpses?
I have filled up my eyes
With infinite number of dreams,
So that if one drops,
I pick up the other;
If another gets fulfilled,
I jump on to the next-
And my life moves on seamlessly
With happiness dripping from my lips
In the form of a beautiful smile.
Mind and Soul
My mind
Saunters majestically on the transmission lines,
Feeds insatiately on the high voltages,
Is enthused by passing currents,
Lags when I don’t work up to my capacity,
Breaks down whenever my insulation level decreases,
And comes to a halt
When the relays of thoughts trip.
My soul
Is permanently housed in the temple of thoughts;
I find my solace in the rhyme, rhythm, and cadence
Of some heart touching poesy.
I am glad,
I am still human.
Mom
Though her own life
Wriggled in pain,
She put on a fake smile,
For she wanted her kids
To feel loved.
Though she wore
Tattered clothes,
She hunted the lanes
Of the market
For exquisite dresses
To clothe her kids.
Though she was abused
Physically and mentally,
She taught her kids
The true meaning of love.
She was a Mom,
She dazzled like a rose
In the thorns of life.
The Night
When the sun goes down your eye,
The night sets in,
Making you feel terrified and fearful!
You wonder
If it shall ever be morning again,
You ponder
If the darkness shall strangle
Your body, mind and feelings,
You try to run helter-skelter
To move out of its strongholds!
Deep down
You do know that
Night is always for a fixed period,
But you don’t wish to believe it,
You only believe in the negativity!
If only
You could relax your spirits,
Can you see the dawn!
Photos and video from Neelam Saxena Chandra
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