Amanita takes a hard look at body shaming and associated mental health problems. These range from serious eating disorders to low self esteem to suicides. Fairness and the politics of skin colour has serious ramifications. An exclusive for Different Truths.

Julia Roberts played a famous actor in the film, Notting Hill. She confessed in a scene that she had to almost starve all her life to conform to the numbers that constitute the beauty standards of the film industry. The numbers that make up the size of her bust, hips and waistline. She spoke up for all the film stars including herself. And all other men and women, who must live by the unwritten numbers. These pertain to the sizes of the different parts of the body. A passive submission to the culture of their profession. 

An indigenous Australian writer and former model Sasha Sarago gave a Ted talk. She spoke on how beauty has been colonised over the centuries. Indians earned their independence from British rule little more than seventy years ago. They, however, cannot ignore the reality that the discrimination by skin colour. It is weaved deep into the socio-economic fabric of the society for a very long time.

Aboriginals’ Identity

For the aboriginals, whose identity was, and still, is in peril. It’s due to their systematic exclusion from positions of power, wealth, clout, etc. For many of us, the politics of skin colour is a reality. We encounter it regularly. 

The society has brutally tried to establish supremacy for those whose skin colour is fairer. There are proverbs in support of that perhaps in all languages. In Bengali, we have heard “Sorbo dosh hare gora.” It means, “If you are fair, your faults can be overlooked.” In Hindi we have this proverb, “Pehle darshandhari pichey gunvichari.” It means, a man is judged first by his looks and then by his virtues. 

Time will eat away at the beauty, vitality, and strength from a body. But the unnecessary stress on its short-lived stay with humans often proves to be dangerous to their mental well-being. 

Health and Fitness

Health matters. And so does fitness. A fit body is expected to be healthier. But to judge a person by the skin-colour, sizes of body parts, height, weight is not only wrong, but it can also be dangerous. For it leads to irreversible effects on the mental health. Anorexia nervosa, Bilumia nervosa are serious eating disorders, which have roots in one’s insecurities with their body image. 

The environment is not conducive for children to grow right mentally. There are brutal comments, behaviour, comparisons with other people on things external. Parents, careless of the psychological well-being of their wards often comment on their being too fat, thin, dark, etc. 

It is not uncommon for children to grow up so unsure of their looks. Their insecurities get reflected in their relationships and in their workplace.

Not unusual either to read news of children committing suicide being victims of body shaming by their peers. 

Coping with Insensitivity

How do we cope with this insensitivity hurled at us by family, friends, peers, and society at large? 

‘Acceptance ‘can be a key word in this matter. Accepting our own selves for however we look is the first step. It aids towards the turn around with the feeling of doom. If we are comfortable in our skins, we go a long way to be dismissive of uncalled for criticisms.

Confidence is what we need to wear. Also, the belief in the thought that we are not our looks, be it good or bad, can be helpful too.  Confidence, like any good virtue, has a ripple effect in society. One can inspire others in having it. 

For this, the role of the family and society cannot be disregarded. Each member needs to know and believe that sizes and colour do not make a man or a woman. It is mostly what lies within the skull, those grey cells that determine how the person would be.

Beauty and Brains

Let’s separate beauty from the brains. Let’s always remember that beauty will be of some use for a few days in this life. It wanes off with time. The brains will serve us till the end. Honing it with proper knowledge will make it a powerful tool for us to navigate through this tough world. 

The relentless propaganda of the media of all that’s flimsy is another deterrent to healthy understanding of our body. Body shaming is much of their creation with advertisements of fairness creams. It goes on rampantly to make this point that fair is better. The stress should only be on good health. The media cannot shirk off its responsibility regarding shaping people’s opinions on this. 

It is not an easy thought to rest upon. But we can ruminate on this line written by the 13^th century poet Rumi. He said, “Everything that is fair and lovely, and a thing of beauty is made for the eyes who see it.” We probably need to improve upon the art of seeing deep inside the person’s mind to know beauty in its true form. 

Our books on spirituality have tried to run home the theory for us that we are not our bodies. Maybe in the healthy dissociation between our real selves and our bodies, lies the wisdom. Therein lies the coping strategy to body politics. 

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Amanita Sen

Published by Writers Workshop, Amanita's first book of poems, was “The Candle in My Dream”, Since then her English poems have been carried in a number of anthologies including Amravati Poetic Prism, Anthology of Women Poets and Women, Wit, Wisdom, Platform, Piker Press, etc. And her Bengali ones in magazines, not just in Kolkata but also in Bangladesh and USA. She is a mental health professional, is married and lives in Kolkata.

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