A Dulha Dulhan course is the latest fad. Dr Manisha asks if we are moving towards the digitalisation of emotions or will artificial intelligence dictate marriages – exclusively for Different Truths.
As I sipped my cup of hot masala tea this wintery morning, scrolling through my WhatsApp, I came across an advertisement titled, ‘The Dulha DulhanCourse’. It was hilarious, as it was a giant leap from matchmakers to conducting courses on pre-marriage and post-marriage etiquettes with unflinching assistance. The special learning objectives stated were understanding the simple mantras of a successful marriage, anger management, and knowing the most common mistakes made by husbands and how to handle them. Furthermore, it stated the basic needs of a wife and enumerated the do’s and don’ts of the husband. It also imparted knowledge on foolish expectations and, finally, home management. The advertisement claimed to be completely innovative and brilliant for restoring faith in family values. As I pondered hard, I imagined these pitchers jostling their way through to Shark Tank.
… how Adam and Eve would have managed to stay in the Garden of Eden without ever being mentored.
Quickly my thoughts shifted to how Adam and Eve would have managed to stay in the Garden of Eden without ever being mentored. If one thinks hard, it reflects how feeble we have become in understanding human emotions that we need translators for it nowadays. For youngsters, the thought of getting married has become like an intrusion of their privacy. Finally, when they settle their heads around it, they complicate a simple ritual of coming together with an elaborate and exhaustive pre-wedding and post-wedding itinerary. They are entangled in many activities like out-of-the-box proposal ideas, pre-wedding shoots, tattoo making, bachelorette parties, strange invites, elaborate dresses, Facebook lives and Instagram posts. So, the day the spotlights are off, the very idea of settling down for a simple lifestyle becomes rather boring and mundane for them.
“Live each day as if it were your last” makes them want to pack every day up with adventure, fun frolic, and immense restlessness; on top of that, these packets of adrenaline are all about me, myself, and mine, so the word commitment freaks them out. #LoveThySelf, # SelfLove, #CareTwoHoots have stemmed immense insensitivity towards others. Meanwhile, the parental dogma that has successfully borne both the pleasures and struggles of marriage asks their children to get that anchorage in life. This is when marriage counsellors and such dulha dulhan courses sneak in.
Soon artificial intelligence will take over and dictate the rules of marriage.
Soon artificial intelligence will take over and dictate the rules of marriage. “So, Alexa, how to treat him today?” We are walking towards the digitalisation of emotions. The stats show a slight rise in divorce rates in India, and the proportion of unmarried people aged 15-29 years rose from 17.2 % in 2011 to 23% in 2019. So, we are clearly discussing Gamophobia here, which has nurtured the scope of psychologists, marriage counsellors and marriage mentors.
The youngsters are phlegmatic nowadays, but the one emotion they truly understand is me and my fragility. Their independent mindset makes them hardliners who hoot at any intrusion. Furthermore, hugely endorsing the same is the rapidly changing marital status and fall of fairytale love stories of celebrities. Thus, like unemployment, the rise in the single population of India is a grave issue staring at our faces.
Families give one security, motive, and stability.
Families give one security, motive, and stability. No argument can refute that, and it was well witnessed during the Covid era. In an interview with Simi Garewal, Ratan Tata clearly spelt out his loneliness at not having a wife and a family. So, independence, women’s power, equality, and modernisation should not be confused with singlehood.
There are couples like Sudha Murthy and Narayana Murthy who have had unbelievable accomplishments while beautifully balancing out their family life. Togetherness, with individual independence, sealed with unconditional respect and love, cannot chain but rather only liberate relationships. So, don’t spend money on these courses; just invest in your commitments.
Picture design by Anumita Roy
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