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Maniraam Fiasco: Woh Kaun Thi

Lt Col. Ankita gives us a glimpse of life in the defence forces with her sparkling wit and humour. An exclusive for Different Truths. 

The stylish antique tables in the United Services club Mumbai were set in the open area that overlooked the Mumbai sea. 

My hubby having membership of this club took me to impress me with some fine dining experience and to make me forget Shri Maniraam. 

I was excitedly turning my head around like a table fan, as I was told that the elite club had ample film stars as its members. 

I was excitedly turning my head around like a table fan, as I was told that the elite club had ample film stars as its members. 

Soon my roving eyes fell and hit the not so pleasing eyes of a well-dressed super sophisticated senior lady sitting diagonally to our table. Her dapper looking senior husband unlike her wasn’t staring at us and was busy enjoying his beer happily. 

… I nudged my hubby to check her out to find out if that lady’s eyes were permanently hired as scanners or she had some inherent issues with her eyes. 

When the senior lady’s popping eyes started behaving like some radar system sending unbearable piercing x rays; I nudged my hubby to check her out to find out if that lady’s eyes were permanently hired as scanners or she had some inherent issues with her eyes. 

My newly married Air Force blue hubby turned his head and immediately stood up almost in a designer saavdhan 

He held my hand and we walked gingerly to that table to greet this couple.

He passed a superior miniature smile at us and resumed eating his Chinese food.

“Good afternoon Sir, Good afternoon ma’am,” hubby said crisply with his handsome face hosting a smile that is meant to be flashed only at seniors. And quickly he introduced them to me, “Sir is Group Captain ABC, my first Unit Chief Technical Officer.” The senior gentleman officer looked at us minus his spectacles and hence couldn’t assess neither any flaws nor any point worth appreciating. He passed a superior miniature smile at us and resumed eating his Chinese food.

“Good afternoon Rajneesh. How are you? “The senior lady replied with an overdose of warmth in her indigenous smile.

“You married thissss……..” PS: Anumita C Roy

“I am fine ma’am. Meet my wife,” my hubby replied, wrapping each word with beer chilled enthusiasm.

“I am fine ma’am. Meet my wife,” my hubby replied, wrapping each word with beer chilled enthusiasm. She kept her drink glass on the table with some artificial softness, straightened her back, picked up a tissue paper, dabbed her pink lips ensuring her lipstick did not jump out of her skin onto the paper and then raised her head. I noticed her left eyebrow had crawled up to her hairline! 

I stood as lost as usual, contemplating my drill in such a scenario. When in doubt, smile …. This was my basic non-military training, so I simply threw a least threatening smile and extended my right hand towards her. 

She instantly retraced her extended manicured hands that had long pink painted nails but not before noticing my unpainted blunt nails. 

“You married thissss……..” The senior lady probably wanted to add ‘Creature’ as a suffix which my hubby quickly filled in the blank with …’Army Officer.’

She simply said “Oh Ok” … with her missing smile, which had now probably got lost under the weight of her own wisdom teeth. 

She simply said “Oh Ok” … with her missing smile, which had now probably got lost under the weight of her own wisdom teeth. 

PS: This senior lady’s niece was … ‘Woh Kaun Thi’.

Visual by Different Truths

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Lt. Col. Ankita Srivastava
Lt. Col. Ankita Srivastava with a flair for natural narration wears multiple hats. A veteran Army officer who later walked beauty pageants’ ramps. She won Tanishq 2008 and in Gladrags Mrs. India 2009 she won the 'Most Vivacious' award. An author, poet, a military humour writer, her books are 'The Pink Scarecrow' and 'Ahsaas'. A contributing author in 15 anthologies, she authored kindle fictions. Her next novel is 'From Olive Green to a Beauty Queen'.

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