Recapitulating the year that was, Sarika tells us that 2019 was a year of losses for her. An exclusive for Different Truths.
Two thousand and nineteen (2019) was a devastating year for me. When we encounter tragedy, we immediately begin to question what wrong have we committed for such sorrows. At such times, we question, “why me?”
As I look back, I see that this was the year that made me very fragile. I experienced a terribly bad patch in life. Almost everybody in the family was affected very badly. None escaped from it. Hospital was my second home. Some issues were major, others minor. The political turmoils in our nation made us suffer. In the month of December, the government passed CAA, which caused losses. For the first time in life, I encountered curfew, my 13-year-old too had to walk with the mob, late in the night from the airport to the final destination.
In the month of December, the government passed CAA, which caused losses. For the first time in life, I encountered curfew, my 13–year–old too had to walk with the mob, late in the night from the airport to the final destination.
I lost my father, who was popularly known as Sarkar Babu/Sarkar da and and in the family, Mejda (second brother). A very well organised person, he was known for his honesty, social work and modern views. Wish I could imbibe some of his traits, a little bit. Baba (Daddy) used to say that we should never get tangled in superstitions. He even said that never perform so many rituals after my demise. He told Maa (Mom) se do not change your lifestyle after I have left, which usually Indian widows do.
However, his final rites and rituals were completed at a very vulnerable time due to political instability in the Northeast part of the country.
2019 by far was one of the worst years in my life.
Since Baba passed away almost a month ago, I’ve come to realise that when someone you love goes far away, you don’t just have to say goodbye to him but miss him at every crossroads of life.
On 30th of November, Baba left for his heavenly abode. Since Baba passed away
almost a month ago, I’ve come to realise that when someone you love goes far away, you don’t just have to say goodbye to him but miss him at every crossroads of life. I’ve realised that there are unlimited tough moments to get through, despite deep heartaches.
As children, we recall many first times – the first day of school, the first time to ride a bike, the first time to fly kites, the first salary, and the first time to drive a car. Firsts seem happy and are something we always treasure. And suddenly we are forced to let go. Now that Baba suddenly left, there’s a permanent scar that’s hard to handle.
It was not everyday that I spoke to him. Now, almost every day the blasts from pasts confront me. It leaves me with an aching heart.
It was not everyday that I spoke to him. Now, almost every day the blasts from pasts confront me. It leaves me with an aching heart. But at the same time, somehow, these memories make me proud, as I remember how unique Baba was. I will carry forever those unexpected moments with me.
I feel I will not be the same person again. Life is puzzle. He took a piece of puzzle, which I will never ever solve in life.
No one can replace the place you have in my heart, Baba. Adieu, be happy wherever you are…
Photo from the Internet
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