Marxism was formulated in the Geeta. Karl merely stole it from Krishna, says humourist Soumya. He tells us that the basic premise of Marxism is that History is a story of a struggle for the ownership of means of production. The ruling class is unwilling to surrender this ownership without a battle. This leads to class war. Here’s an illuminating fact, laughter and all, in the weekly column, exclusively in Different Truths.

We already know that everything in the world of ideas originated in India.

We invented zero, and the binary system in mathematics. Although the Arabs took credit for that for long, much the same way we copy paste friends’ posts on Facebook and assume credit, but the truth finally prevailed. Imagine doing long division with roman numerals, leave alone calculus. We figured out that the universe was not geocentric, and nobody got burnt at the stake for such views. Plastic surgery was practiced by Susruta. Pythagoras copy pasted his theorem from Vedic maths. Democracy was an Indian system long before the Greeks and Romans tried such new-fangled experiments.

Not only that but If we believe our brothers of the Sangh family, nuclear power, fusion bombs, space flight, calculus, genetic engineering, aircraft were all there in Vedic India. Leaving out a few minor inventions like paper and gunpowder, which we left to the Chinese, all the rest was ours.

But one fact has been missed by all. The one idea that makes the guardians of our heritage along with all their like-minded right-wing brothers across the globe see Red, is also a Vedic invention. Not only that, it was propagated in the core manual of our value system.  Yes, Marxism was formulated in the Geeta.

Karl, like his Arab and Greek predecessors, merely stole it from Krishna.

Scandalised? Let us examine the facts.

The basic premise of Marxism is that History is a story of a struggle for the ownership of means of production. The ruling class is unwilling to surrender this ownership without a battle. This leads to class war. Now, how does the Mahabharata war begin? When Krishna’s peace overtures fail, the war and Geeta happen.  Krishna was trying to persuade Duryodhan to part with some land – the means of production in an agrarian economy. His response was classic. “Bina yudh nahi dibo suchagra medini” (without war I will not part with a particle of land). Isn’t this class war over means of production? Incidentally, all other Mahabharata wars were fought over cattle, the other means of production those days.

Next, we see that earlier when the Pandavas were Kings, they lose all their land, cattle and slaves – their property, through treachery and gambling and is left without assets. Or, they become members of the proletariat, owning no means of production except their labour. To drive home the point, they finally take up menial jobs, secretary, cook, dance instructor, coachman, cowherd, and housemaid respectively. In other words, they were pure prols. And when this proletariat takes on the landed gentry in battle, they win. Isn’t this a clear case of the proletariat winning the class war against the capitalist pigs?

Just in case you are still not sure, look at Krishna’s role. A peacenik, called Ranchoddas by his detractors. He was born in a prison and grew up as a cowherd among similar members of the cattle class. He fought the war, as non-combatant working as a charioteer. Can you get any more prol than that? And he was the key to the victory. And look at his position, at the forefront, right in front of Arjun. Where do you think Karl got the idea of the proletariat being the vanguard of the revolution?

Finally, look how they shared their assets. Feminists, please forgive me, but women were still property then. Draupadi was shared equally among them in perfect communist harmony. Marx says, from everyone according to his ability to everyone according to his needs being the mool mantra of the manifesto. Arjun, the hero, the ablest, wins her for all of them, and Yudhistira, the wimp, who could never get a date and was the horniest, like all holy and wise men, got her first.

Niskam Karma – working without expectation of rewards. A better definition of Communism anyone?

QED

Krishna and Karl.

©Soumya Mukherjee

Photos from the internet.

#KarlMarx #LordKrishna #Humour #DifferentTruths

Soumya Mukherjee

Soumya Mukherjee is an alumnus of St Stephens College and Delhi School of Economics. He earns his daily bread by working for a PSU Insurance company, and lectures for peanuts. His other passions, family, friends, films, travel, food, trekking, wildlife, music, theater, and occasionally, writing. He has been published in many national newspapers of repute. He has published his first novel, Memories, a novella, hopefully, the first of his many books. He blogs as well.

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