Making someone feel bad about themselves won’t make you feel any better. It’s about time we made “catfights”, jealousy and competition a thing of the past. Let’s not degenerate our sisters into a sum of their body parts. Let’s not deconstruct their bodies and their minds, says Mariyam, in the new weekly column, wherein the youth speak their minds, from this Monday. A Different Truths exclusive. 

Recently, an online publication ran a story about the cast of the upcoming film Veere Di Wedding and a possible simmering rivalry between the lead actors. Rhea Kapoor, the producer, didn’t take too kindly to the “news”. She posted on her social media how “grown, intelligent women” have better things to do and how “there is no place” for the “harmful narrative” anymore. 

If you believe the pop culture and the entertainment media, girls simply do not get along with other girls. They are bitchy and competitive, their compliments fake and their friendships merely a convenience. I am always offended at such a portrayal of female friendships. 

But am I delusional and believe there’s not even an iota of truth in the above narrative? No, girls can be extremely critical of other girls – their bodies, their achievements, their choices and their clothes. I have been an observer, a victim and perhaps even guilty. I know girls are capable of pushing each other down, but I also know they are as capable of pulling each other up. 

Once, my friend was hanging out with other hostel girls out on the grounds, when one of their batch mates came back from a party. The warden didn’t approve of the girl’s clothes and, of course, she voiced her disapproval and concern with the maturity and decency expected of a staff member at an Educational Institution. She yelled across the ground, perfectly audible to everyone present (including the guard), “Agar aise hi jaogi to rape hi ho jaega tumhare” (if you go out like this, you will be raped”). As much as the story made me want to punch a wall, it also made me proud, for the other girls came to the girl’s rescue and stood up against the bullying and the insult. 

In December 2015, Lilly Singh aka “Superwoman” started a campaign “Girl Love” against girl-on-girl hate where she encouraged girls to support and spread love for each other. Several other YouTubers and celebrities like Priyanka Chopra and Shay Mitchell took the challenge and shared Lilly’s video. The challenge took off with millions of women posting compliments for other women. 

Lilly Singh also donated all proceeds from her video to Malala Yousafzai’s fund for Girls’ Education. 

Making someone feel bad about themselves won’t make you feel any better. It’s about time we made “catfights”, jealousy and competition a thing of the past. Let’s not degenerate our sisters into a sum of their body parts. Let’s not deconstruct their bodies and their minds. Let’s not make fun of them for being fat or too skinny, for wearing too much makeup or not wearing any or for being too “tomboyish” or too “girly”. 

Women are capable of being strong, confident and powerful. And strength and confidence are above petty insults and bullying. The age-old tale of female competitiveness is repugnant. It’s high time that genuine girl friendships get their share of the limelight. 

“You all have got to stop calling each other sluts and whores.” ~ Ms. Norbury, Mean Girls.

©Mariyam Zafar

Photos from the Internet

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Mariyam Zafar

Mariyam Zafar is a blogger at mariyamz.com, where she shares short stories, incidents from her life and sometimes even lifestyle tips. A graduate in English Literature from Ewing Christian College, she completed her schooling from Bishop Johnson School where she was the president of the Editorial Board. She has worked with Lab Academia and Sanchaari on their various cultural events. In addition to literature and writing, her other interests include lifestyle, fashion and films.

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