Teenage is the twilight of our lives. It’s the turning point that make or mar us. Often teenagers have to leave their home and hearths, their security bubble and comfort zones. They have to leave their nests and go to a distant land, where they have to battle it alone. How should they separate the chaff from the grain and the grain from the chaff? How should they distinguish between the wolves and the sheep? Subhajit shares his experiences and gives us tips, in the weekly column, exclusively for Different Truths.
The life of fun, adventure and, at times, mistakes, turning out to be blunders, is amalgamated with an obvious zeal to climb up higher in life. The rat race to reach to the top is severe. To reach higher and attain new levels, we teens have to leave our nests. Flying off to a new branch, far away from security bubble and comfort zones, we have to create our own sphere. In a different land, and among new people, this is quite a daunting task, day in day out.
There are transparent people that we might easily judge at the first encounter but a few of them are really difficult to read and too complicated to understand. However, the show of life must go on! So we have to gamble our chances. In order to rise up, we make a few, our pillars, and some others, our shade. An important aspect of this swimming against the tide is the adjustment to all the pros and cons of the situations that comes our way. To be very frank, if we don’t adjust, we would be no where on this earth. We would remain stuck in our own small worlds of frog-in- the-well, if we don’t act like a grown-ups and try and fit into the ambiance of the new place.
Now, the question that inevitably strikes our mind is to what extent should we adjust? Well, that has no precise answer. Let me just share an instance. To start with, we often begin with a casual chat to fit into a new friend circle at our school level. Similarly, to begin befriending, we teens too need to have a smart talk among ourselves. Such conversations infuse a good connections and bonding. Here, I would love to highlight the error we make in choosing the right friend. After collecting some information (read lots to us), when we are about to enter into the new world, we forget all our previous lessons and repeat similar, if not the same mistakes. Often, in case of introverts, they are unable to reach their comfort level and fall prey to the circumstances. But one needs to open up at least for the sake of their own purposes to avoid being charged for their dumbness.
The most interesting part to note in a conversation is the way we teens hide our facts and how anxious we are to know about other friends. Yes, we do have something or the other to hide within ourselves, it could be something serious or silly or trivial, but we give it more focus than other matters. Probably this is because either we are too shy to share them thinking that we might be laughed at or it could be just because we prefer the privacy over globalising our deepest soul. It is commonly observed that we all go by the looks. Yes, that’s true! But the connection of the first impression with adjustment is that if we are smart by looks then we can easily opt to adjust but if one of us looks shabby, we would never opt to adjust rather we might not befriend them. One can most commonly hear us saying, “Look at her. Her jawline is too boyish! She looks weird!” and “What the hell, is he of our batch? Oh, Gosh! He looks miserable in that shirt!” if a so called “soggy” or “unfit” boy or girl sits next to us.
Teenagers are stuck to the most appealing appearances that we like watching (read staring or ogling). We can never welcome a different unattractive person in our flocks. Batch mates in the same coaching classes become ‘besties’ if a good rapport is established. Teens, as always, are free and flowing. If one remains quiet and gathered in his pit, then others won’t ever look back to see if he or she is doing well or sinking. So, adjusting would be even more difficult. But it doesn’t mean that one should get washed away in this ebb and flow of the masses. We should have our own stand to stop where necessary. In short, be yourself but don’t be only with your own self!
As I have said adjustment has no specific definition or extent. It is solely up to us to decide the extent to which we would adjust. Doing anything more than wanted suppresses oneself to the will of others, which is not welcome. Yes, talking about the circumstances we are victim to, there is nothing we can do to change or subdue those. But we do have a limit of patience which is sublime that needs to be strengthened. Adjustment and sharing should come from both sides like a one-to-one interaction. Among us, the ones living in hostels, PGs and mess, if sharing the same room then we need to be more understanding and patient. Being an open book is good but a sensible one. We need to groom ourselves to be smarter and reasonable. Else it would be long when someday we shall face any difficulty and we would not get any help and cooperation from the other side.
Being a loner would make us laggards in this fast moving world. Teens seldom learn to handle the situations in their own way. It is quite obvious that everybody is goal oriented and optimistic and can do anything to be at the top. Hence, in the long-run, the victory awaits to crown only those who move on with their strong will and determination as well as a sound mind that makes use of the right scopes to reach the height.
Being totally new, immigrant teenagers should talk and act like adults. Else, they shall be fooled at every step and robbed of all their treasures. Yes, we shall find great guides but until then the ball is in our court. Plus guides would help in decision making. The execution is all on us. At times we shall fall down but then we have to immediately pat our backs and move our butts. Taking help from parents and good old friends would also turn out helpful.
Entering this new world with everything glittering as in a dream is a common scenario. But teenagers have to keep in mind about the dark forest in the depth from which only experienced people can help. For that trust and adjustment to adapt are two vital components. We shall have to cope up with the most irritating situations even at times deal with the flooding streets and congested traffic. At the end, the brightness of our victory shall outshine all insignificant problems. And yes! Never let your goal be blurred by the ephemeral razzamatazz. Teenage lacks patience and a clear vision, which bars them from a bright future.
Stay calm, play cool and stand up for your values – these are very necessary, my friends!
©Subhajit Sanyal
Pix from Net.
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