An intense and powerful women-centric poem, a contemporary social commentary, by Dr. Jaya, exclusively for Different Truths.

Balancing memories
Bangles tinkling,
She sat writing
For the back exam.
She had missed the paper,
For her marriage.

Balancing memories
Fresh ones of the marriage
With not such old ones
Of a carefree life in this very classroom.
Acutely conscious of her changed status
And determined not to make it matter
This one last time.

Balancing memories
The paper looked easy
She should have breezed through it
In another time.
She vaguely remembered the lecture
On Human Rights
She remembered
She had resolved to start an NGO
With her best friend
For women’s education
Once she did her B.Ed.
And trained in Social Service.
She had found a direction
She had a proper plan
She had gone back home that day
To share the plan with ma.

Plans
Back home
Relatives had descended
Preparation was on
To welcome the boy’s family
Who were suddenly coming to SEE her
This was the only auspicious time
for the next few months.
She was bundled
With a bright red and green sari
To the parlour in the next lane.
To “get properly ready”
For the future depended on it.

Father had said
The proposal is good
The boy is well settled
The family is small.
Papa had money from some arrears
The marriage will take care of one responsibility.
Why did he sound like “get rid of “.
Later, of course, the son had to be sent
For the civil coaching or MBA.

She met the boy
Twice with cousins
In the busy Mall
Where there was barely time
To exchange coy glances
Over plates of noodles and dosa.
And then they met alone
Once
In the public garden.
Where they held hands
And behind a cluster of trees,
He had tried boldly
To place a peck on her cheek.
She knew then
He was “The one”.
Forever and after.
And planned the honeymoon
And the trousseau
In long phone calls
Skipping classes.
Holding the hand of her best friend tightly
She had boldly said “I Love You”
At the end of these calls.

Balancing memories
The lecture and the plans
Suddenly came back now
After the eons had passed
In the past few months.

Balancing memories
She scribbled a vague answer.
And got her things together
For the appointment
With the gyne
After collecting the reports
Of confirmed pregnancy.

Photo from the Internet

Dr. Jaya Kapoor Chadha

Dr. Jaya writes along with travelling and doing theatre to explore pathways to her innermost self. She is a mother of a spirited fighter 12-year-old son for heroes can come in all sizes. She is teaching in the Department of English at the University of Allahabad.

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