Fear that is birthed by doubts, suspicions, distrust of the other, misunderstandings and ignorance is the xenophobic roar within…. It sees foes where there are none and can translate into acts of divisiveness and terrorism. It is the embryo of violent ethnic cleansing, bigotry, anti-secular mind sets, disruptive societies and lynching mobs. Shernaz talks of the deadly ramifications of five fears, in the weekly column, exclusively in Different Truths.

Fear is the dark room where the Devil develops his negatives ~ Gary Busey

It is the deep and wide chasm, an infinite distance between self and one’s goals. Thoughts of failure hang thick in it, fogging dreams, making them appear impossible; a strange unease coils around the excitement and exhilaration of taking the plunge, with faith in one’s aptitudes, unique gifts, and self-worth. Even if filled with trepidation, we need to take those first few unsure steps or the leap of faith that ensures freedom from the choking grasp of terror. We can lick fear by celebrating our failures optimistically and learning from them.

It is the demon that debilitates love and the dysfunctional and we cannot reach out to others; the feelers, that we could send out to someone else and walk the stony path of a relationship filled with endless possibilities and terrifying misgivings, withdraw like a flower folding its petals to perceived danger.  We would rather remain cooped up within our fearful self than brave the precipice towards an unknown but exciting realm. Relationships with their legends of failures, deceit, and betrayals can be very scary but love makes them one of the most beautiful experiences of life, unmasking our deepest, most vulnerable selves and enclosing them in the protective sheath of loving kindness.

Fear that is birthed by doubts, suspicions, distrust of the other, misunderstandings and ignorance is the xenophobic roar within, that can throttle mass intelligence and drive multitudes into a hate-steered frenzy. It numbs empathy and imprisons common sense. It sees foes where there are none and can translate into acts of divisiveness and terrorism. It is the embryo of violent ethnic cleansing, bigotry, anti-secular mindsets, disruptive societies and lynching mobs.

Fear, like despair, is the devil’s advocate and comes in various forms — disquiet, concern, apprehension, edginess, stress, dread, phobia, suspicion and so on.  It lurks in the unknown and blocks our path with projected, non-existent pitfalls, traps, letdowns, and fiends. It occupies the mind that either leapfrog into the future or stays certified in the past when it should be in the present moment. This creates a vacuum that is taken over by any one of fear’s forms. It arises from our inability or unwillingness to say ‘yes’ to the Now, the only moment that really belongs to us. This truth cannot be reiterated too often. We have to retract our mind from the past and future times and dwell only in the present moment to face any kind of fear.

There is a wide extent and range of fears — that of failure, of relationships, of darkness, of inadequacies, of heights, of death, of loneliness, of love…

According to Karl Albrecht Ph.D., “there are only five basic fears, out of which almost all of our other so-called fears are manufactured.” These are:

1. Extinction — the fear of annihilation, of ceasing to exist. This is a more fundamental way to express it than just calling it ‘fear of death’. The idea of no longer being arouses a primary existential anxiety in all normal humans. Consider that panicky feeling you get when you look over the edge of a high building.
2. Mutilation — the fear of losing any part of our precious bodily structure; the thought of having our body’s boundaries invaded, or of losing the integrity of any organ, body part, or natural function. Anxiety about animals, such as bugs, spiders, snakes, and other creepy things arises from fear of mutilation.
3. Loss of Autonomy — the fear of being immobilised, paralysed, restricted, enveloped, overwhelmed, entrapped, imprisoned, smothered, or otherwise controlled by circumstances beyond our control. In physical form, it’s commonly known as claustrophobia, but it also extends to our social interactions and relationships.
4. Separation — the fear of abandonment, rejection, and loss of connectedness; of becoming a non-person —not wanted, respected, or valued by anyone else. The ‘silent treatment’, when imposed by a group, can have a devastating psychological effect on its target.
5. Ego-death — the fear of humiliation, shame, or any other mechanism of profound self-disapproval that threatens the loss of integrity of the Self; the fear of the shattering or disintegration of one’s constructed sense of lovability, capability, and worthiness.

That’s all—just those five. They can be thought of as forming a simple hierarchy, or ‘feararchy’.[i]

It is alright and normal to be afraid at times in specific situations. Fear cannot be wished away by pretending it does not exist. It is there, and often reaches out like a serpent slithering around our vulnerable minds. We cannot let it rule the roost and make choices for us, because in doing so, we energise it and the negative potential we foresee will inevitably find us. It cannot be our constant roommate, so what do we do?

Understand Fear

It is symbolic of negative probabilities till triggered into reality. This is something we must remember so that we do not hold on to it and can release it easily. Facing the fear and imagining the worst possible outcome of it can open us up to the absurdity of it. Then we can free ourselves from its toxic grip.   .

Stay in the here and now, watchfully aware of every moment. When we are aware, we recognise fear as it is beginning to arise and can handle it positively. Accept it and then do some deep breathing, meditation or even just take a few minutes off from the mind by doing some distractive activity like making and sipping a comfort drink. Distraction will help prevent a panic attack and give us time to calm down, enabling us to get a better grip on our runaway thoughts.

Certain fears can be alarm bells. They could be signalling a real problem or danger ahead. It may be a forewarning to avoid situations or people, so we must process our fears and modify our actions accordingly.

Modern societies, politics and mass media seem to thrive on propagating and selling fear in lethal doses. Daily, we are pelted with stories that market fear of diseases, foods, people, medicines, health care and government policies. We must put ourselves on a restricted diet of such oft-repeated narratives so that we do not unwittingly ingest fear. It means thinking for ourselves, being mentally strong; not being taken in by every bit of information doing the rounds of the media or the rumour mill.

Some of us may be hardwired to fears and/or phobias making outside help of society and friends or professionals, imperative. Find someone who can assist in understanding and examine those fears so that it is easier to handle or even release them without being more stressed out.

“Being brave isn’t the absence of fear. Being brave is having that fear but finding a way through it.” ~ Bear Grylls

So let us try not to fear fear, which is

“False

Evidence

Appearing

Real”

©Shernaz Wadia

Photos from the Internet.

[i] psychologytoday.com/blog/brainsnacks/201203/the-only-5-fears-we-all-share

#Fear #UnderstandingFear #TypesOfFear #FearBreadsNegativity #OvercomeFear #LearnYourFear #WaysToFaceFear #DifferentTruths

Shernaz Wadia

To Shernaz Wadia, reading and writing poems has been one of the means to embark on an inward journey. She hopes her words will bring peace, hope and light into dark corners. Her poems have been published in many e-journals and anthologies. She has published her own book of poems "Whispers of the Soul" and another titled "Tapestry Poetry - A Fusion of Two Minds" with her poetry partner Avril Meallem.

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