Coping with Separation and Change

Susmita shares with us the pain of separation. How it tears the heart of a mother to send both her sons to boarding schools! In a candid account, she tells us all about the pain of separation and the ways to manage changes in her empty nest, when the brood takes to wings.

“How do you know the fruit is ripe? Simply because it leaves the branch” ~ Andre Gide

The pain of separation is life’s worst fear: mother from child, husband from wife, friend from a friend, life from a body, a heartbeat from a heart. The story can go on forever and ever. We are afraid of the unknown. We often think we own all – everyone and everything – we are related to. Hence, we experience the pain of separation.

Edvard Munch: Separation
Edvard Munch: Separation

Pain unifies. The anguish of our separations helps us understand those of others. Till we don’t get separated from our kids for education, work, tragic incident and similar situations, we don’t understand the pain our parents went through living apart from their piece of heart.

Karuna Reiki

Can we start with a simple step of disowning? Yes, that is mine (relation or material thing or place) is what the ab initio is. Don’t try to own. Even if we are separated we will not feel the pain or it would be lessened greatly. We rather share the happiness of their successes and give them strength.

I agree it is easy to say and rock solidly hard to endure and overcome, but not impossible.

Reiki believes in the energy of life, unconditional love, sense of gratitude. I have been practicing reiki for about two years now.

Painter: Bishwajit Das
Painter: Bishwajit Das

My soul is still in the process of journey. Today, I am facing my worst fears ‘pain of separation’ from my two most owned persons, my sons. Situation changes and we are forced to take decision where we think we may overcome. But, facing it in reality is bomb-shattering.

In next 15 days, my sons will be part of two different boarding schools. My husband and I will live in a distant far place, surely on earth though. It’s not easy making all the arrangements as smooth as possible for their transitions from home to boarding.

My morning, my afternoons, my evenings, my nights all will change. But, as they say change is inevitable though unsettling. I am sure I shall overcome.

Reiki practicing is making me calm, focused and balanced through my journey of separations. Karuna reiki is the second step where we deal with compassion and this is helping me and my family though. I am in gratitude to the Universe for all that I have received from whoever I have received and shall release unconditional love in all directions without getting angry or seeking revenge. Believe me if we can accept this much our pain is controllable. I will take you through my second phase of this pain of separation as and when I deal with it in the future. Do give me your strength and belief to make it smoother. If you believe it is … it will be!

Pix from Net

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Susmita Bhattacharya
Susmita, a commerce graduate from Bombay University, is trained in HR management. She is an entrepreneur and fashions designer sarees. Susmita practices Reki and yoga. She dabbles with fusion styles and experiments with clothes and accessories. Her interests range from culinary skills to various dance forms, from meditation to exercise. She stays in Dubai with her husband and two sons.
1 Comments Text
  • While I understand the feelings of a mother as she separates from her kid/s, or a spouse who loses her partner untimely, why does change in the form of separation always have to have negative connotations and require coping with ?!
    Why can’t change be a step forward, a move for self empowerment, a progress in the right direction, daunting at first but rewarding in the future . why does separation always have to be sad or with a tinge of heartbreak ? I chose to move out of a loveless and lifeless marriage – and I have never been happier. I have found in myself the spirit and resolve to be all that my child wants me to be. Thankful that life has placed me where I am. You truly do not know how strong you are, till being strong is the only choice you are left with.

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