Shabnam knew that sooner or later, her husband and she would be infected. There were no two ways about it – he is a dedicated doctor. She tells us what it meant to be Covid-19 positive. A report for Different Truths.
As you can see, my dimples are intact!
Way back in February, as lockdowns loomed, as the consciousness grew of impending doom, as the world girded its loins to deal with a disease that was so brand new that no one knew what to do about it, I sat back to do a what-if analysis. What if I die? What if you died? How will I manage? Could I put some systems into place? Have I met my children for the last time? Have I met my mother, my brother, my sister for the last time? For how long can I stock up on food?
Way back in February, as lockdowns loomed, as the consciousness grew of impending doom, as the world girded its loins to deal with a disease that was so brand new that no one knew what to do about it, I sat back to do a what-if analysis. What if I die? What if you died? How will I manage? Could I put some systems into place? Have I met my children for the last time? Have I met my mother, my brother, my sister for the last time? For how long can I stock up on food? Will my kitchen garden (that small, pitiful little piece on my roof) produce enough to feed us? I remembered the times in my childhood – around 1971-72 – when there were huge shortages of food grains. Even though we had farmland, bringing back grains to feed the family for the year was difficult – as there was checking everywhere against hoarding. And no, we did not have a car – so we were dependent on ikkas (that high horse-drawn carriage), to somehow transport the grain home. And then, during riots – when the entire city was on curfew with shoot-at-sight orders – Nani and Ammi made sure that no neighbour slept hungry, passing grains and food across roofs.
And I realised – no matter what I did, I could never be prepared enough. So, I chose to deal with whatever would come my way, as and when it came. It isn’t easy to come to this state of mind and often one slips. But, really, we have no choice. We can panic and drive ourselves up the wall (and be of no real use to those we love) or we can rationalise every move. I have always been miserly, and subscribe to waste not, want not theory, as much as I can. Just stepped it up a notch.
And the disease is so virulent, that despite the fact that he would head straight to the bathroom for a good scrub and change, I would be exposed to the disease willy-nilly. As I read up more and more on the disease, I saw that one can only hope and pray that one remains in the majority who get little more than a bad cold. For the 3-5% who get it bad, it’s a matter of Russian roulette.
I knew, sooner or later, my husband and I would be infected. There were no two ways about it – he is a dedicated doctor – one who has always worked against all odds to ensure that patients get the best possible care he can organise. He has battled with management strategies, with not so focussed colleagues – all to ensure that patients do not suffer due to short-sighted and inadequate care. And the disease is so virulent, that despite the fact that he would head straight to the bathroom for a good scrub and change, I would be exposed to the disease willy-nilly. As I read up more and more on the disease, I saw that one can only hope and pray that one remains in the majority who get little more than a bad cold. For the 3-5% who get it bad, it’s a matter of Russian roulette.
March: Case One
My dearest friends’ elder brother and his wife tested positive. Their daughter had just returned from college. We kept our fingers crossed, but on day 7, Da ended up in ICU and by day 8, he was on a ventilator. The wife was soon out of it, as her symptoms remained mild. The daughter was not even symptomatic. For the next 24 days, we remained on edge as Da could not be weaned off the ventilator. He developed secondary infections and remained on deep sedation. Finally, 24 days on the ventilator, he came off it, surviving while we heard of bodies being kept in refrigerated vans as the mortuaries were full up. Yes, being part of the medical community also means that you hear the worst-case scenarios more than the average – never mind the best case. Three days later – he fussed and fussed and went home. A week later he started working from home – 2-3 hrs a day. All I could do was take a deep breath and be grateful to the powers that be.
April: Case Two
A much younger friend, who was diagnosed with Myasthenia Gravis and who was severely immunocompromised, was diagnosed with Covid-19, despite the fact that she, her husband and daughter had been in isolation from the very beginning with neighbours and friends bringing them groceries, keeping them for at least 48 hours before reaching them.
A much younger friend, who was diagnosed with Myasthenia Gravis and who was severely immunocompromised, was diagnosed with Covid-19, despite the fact that she, her husband and daughter had been in isolation from the very beginning with neighbours and friends bringing them groceries, keeping them for at least 48 hours before reaching them. We almost gave up on her. But guess what? Even though she could barely get up to go to the loo for a week, she is back on her feet. We all heaved a huge collective sigh of relief!
May: Cases Three and Four
We had been making it, once a week, to visit my mother since the lockdown. Brave people that my family is, I learnt the hard way that they need to be looked at directly with my own eyes, for me to know for sure that they are ok. Even then, they will often not tell me their problems, considering them too minor to trouble me with. I need to have a sixth sense and interrogation techniques to dig it all out before it gets blown to epic proportions. She lives with my Brother – a bare 2 km away. Around the 3rd of May, I felt lower than usual. As did my husband. So, instead of making the visit, we stayed home. Got to know that their fridge had conked off, so put some boxes of water to freeze in the deep freezer, thinking that I would visit in the morning after hubby went off to work. Next morning, I was still not quite up to it, so I just packed the icebox and drove over, asking my brother to pick from the gate as did not believe I should take any chances – what with mum being 82, and brother being 64. By Afternoon, my temperature was up. Popped some Crocin and went to sleep. And on repeat.
By day four, three of my husband’s colleagues had tested positive. He himself hadn’t got over the malaise and my fever was continuing, coming down only for the duration of 4-5 hours the Paracetamol worked – I was having it round the clock, every 8 hours, needing 1 gm doses to make a dent on the fever which would reach 102.8. So, on 8th, we went to get ourselves tested. 9th, the report put it as a positive, and we were put under home quarantine.
By day four, three of my husband’s colleagues had tested positive. He himself hadn’t got over the malaise and my fever was continuing, coming down only for
the duration of 4-5 hours the Paracetamol worked – I was having it round the clock, every 8 hours, needing 1 gm doses to make a dent on the fever which would reach 102.8. So, on 8th, we went to get ourselves tested. 9th, the report put it as a positive, and we were put under home quarantine. We have an anaesthetist, an ENT specialist and a Cardiologist at home, so we chose to take care of ourselves. ECG okay, SpO2(concentration of oxygen in the blood) Ok – so why go to the hospital? However, as a precaution, a cylinder of oxygen was procured after much wrangling.
HCQS was started, never mind that we had been taking the prescribed dosage as a preventive. High dosage of Vitamin C. Paracetamol round the clock. Breathing exercises, long hours lying prone (on the stomach). Frequent baths, trying to bring the temperature down. Zinc supplements. Various biotics to control some of the endless watery poops. Loads of water, juices, electoral to combat dehydration. The good thing was that I did not lose my appetite. All meals were had, even though they just seem to go straight through. No loss of smell or taste.
On 10th, we decided to go to the hospital since we were both ill, and there was no one to wash dishes, clothes, clean the house… Also, chest x-ray and baseline blood tests could not be done at home. Called the Ambulance. Taken to hospital. Tests were done. Meanwhile, it seemed quite unorganised to my husband’s trained eye. My chest x-ray had Covid-19 changes. His blood parameters were off, but not too much. So, we came back home. Reached back at midnight – an 8-hour round trip.
By 11th, Rohit’s malaise had abated, while my fever continued. After much wrangling, on 13th Rohit managed to get a second round of tests done on me, fearing that it may be typhoid on top of the Covid-19. Drew the blood himself and handed over to the hospital courier.
By 11th, Rohit’s malaise had abated, while my fever continued. After much wrangling, on 13th Rohit managed to get a second round of tests done on me, fearing that it may be typhoid on top of the Covid-19. Drew the blood himself and handed over to the hospital courier. In all this, I did not for a moment feel that I was seriously ill – while the fever had the three doctors worried on my behalf. And the appetite remained, often embarrassingly so.
In all this, my brother-in-law, his wife, daughter and maid had to segregate themselves. So, we had a basket, which would go down, filled with necessities and hauled back up. Fruit, cooked food, standing mops, Hypochlorite, medicines… a one-way trip, so that we don’t pass the virus down. They had tested negative, and we hope to keep it that way. However, the powers that be designated the whole two-floor house quarantined. They are, in fact, two separate units and mostly we live independent lives – there for each other in hours of need, but otherwise living parallel lives. So, they’ve borne the brunt of the disease for no real reason.
One of the biggest challenges one faces in the disease is the absolute lack of energy. You get completely knackered like you’ve run a marathon after running a decathlon. You could be thirsty, but going to get yourself a glass of water may seem an insurmountable job. The switch is three metres away, and it seems like it’s on the other end of the continent.
One of the biggest challenges one faces in the disease is the absolute lack of energy. You get completely knackered like you’ve run a marathon after running a decathlon. You could be thirsty, but going to get yourself a glass of water may seem an insurmountable job. The switch is three metres away, and it seems like it’s on the other end of the continent. And no, you know better than to expose hired help. So, no help, and no energy. If you are mildly OCD affected, like me, may the good lord help! I need my bed made the moment I get up in the morning. So, somehow, have to gather the energy to make the bed. The things on the sideboard have to be just so – means getting your ass off the bed and twitch them around. Believe you me, nothing seemed this heavy, ever.
By 17th, the worry over my fever, and I’m guessing, the lack of energy finally drove Rohit to drive me to hospital and admit me. He had been my full-time carer by then for a full 9 days, with the fever refusing to abate (no typhoid, at least). My O2 sats had started going down a bit – not that I was breathless or anything. The tests were a tad worse-not awful, but worse. The x-ray showed further changes in the lungs. So, I was put into the ICU, just to keep a closer eye. So that immediate help could be on hand. Oxygen on, endless tests every day – my hands feel like a truly full pincushion! My veins have always been difficult to find – now they were worse, or perhaps the nurses were a little less efficient. And I was not up to protesting the unearthly hours kept by them. The last IV Ascorbic acid would go in around 11:30 pm and at 4 am they would be drawing blood for tests. The ICU has no privacy, lights going on at odd hours, the GDU’s discussing their working conditions and issues at full volume (they are all hearing-impaired because of the PPE covering every orifice). Nope, not funny.
Interestingly, 17th was the last day of my fever. Once it came down, it just stayed down thereafter. Finally, on 20th, the Covid-19 test came back negative, and I was transferred to a room. Such bliss! No more endless nattering. Peace. And that day I just drew the line at being woken for any test of any sort (taking temperature, BP, SpO2) at 4 am. I need my 5-6 hours sleep and I was going to get it!
Interestingly, 17th was the last day of my fever. Once it came down, it just stayed down thereafter. Finally, on 20th, the Covid-19 test came back negative, and I was transferred to a room. Such bliss! No more endless nattering. Peace. And that day I just drew the line at being woken for any test of any sort (taking temperature, BP, SpO2) at 4 am. I need my 5-6 hours sleep and I was going to get it! Even though I kept being told to keep the O2 on, I would very often take it off and sit by the window – seeing the sky, trees after a full 100 hours! I was lucky in being able to maintain a SpO2 level of 96 or higher, even without oxygen. And so, on 22nd, I came back home. Rohit’s Covid-19 test by this time was also negative!
We aren’t Covidiots. Responsible members of the society, we have done everything possible to ensure we don’t carry, spread the disease, and yet there is a challenge that our family is feeling in the colony we live in. Some wanted us to be quarantined in hospital – locked away. Never mind that the doctors have grown up here (the family was one of the early settlers in 1971-72). Which is why I have chosen to share our story. Covid-19 is not a biggie for most. But you do need to take care and avoid getting it as far as possible. You don’t know how it will affect you. You could be one of the unfortunate 3-4% who dies. Or you could go bye with a sneeze or two. And, while being completely asymptomatic, you could pass it on to someone who may not be that lucky.
It’s not worth getting frightened. Be careful, stay safe. But also, so what if you get it? Can worrying stop anything? All it will do is make you make mistakes. Stay away from panic, as much as you can. Work out panic strategies ahead of schedule. Write them down.
It’s not worth getting frightened. Be careful, stay safe. But also, so what if you get it? Can worrying stop anything? All it will do is make you make mistakes. Stay away from panic, as much as you can. Work out panic strategies ahead of schedule. Write them down. Believe me, the one thing not on your list is what will come to mock you. Chill. It will all be Okay!
I have not listed the treatment schedule, because really, there is no clear guideline. And as you read through this, you will find that each case is unique in itself. One strategy does not work for all.
There is still a long way to go, for me. I am Covid-19 negative, but believe me, while not feeling weak, tend to have very little energy. Writing these 2239 words has taken me two days!
This write-up was posted in Shabnam’s FB Timeline on Sunday afternoon. As an exception*, we are publishing it in DT. It’s a saga of courage and patience, a lesson for one and all ~ Editor.
(*We do not publish any write-up that has been shared on the social media or published in a blog earlier.)
Photos sourced from the author
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Heart touching saga of grit, determination and courage to fight Covid and not so positive attitude of the people in the neighbourhood!
The medical background of the couple has served as an additional positive factor in this account. The story makes one think about the pathetic state of those who lack medical knowledge. It also makes one interrogate the commonly prevalent attitude of the majority of people who lack empathy for the patient /patients and their family.
An inspirational and empathy provoking personl account by the writer!