Mitali talks of the wide exposure that she and her sons had with people from different countries, as China opened its doors to foreign talents before the dawn of the new millennia. She recounts a farewell party and a houseful of kids, in this updated chapter from, In the Land of the Dragons, exclusively for Different Truths.
One of the most enriching things about living in China was the wide exposure we had to people from different countries. China, which was so insular in the times of yore opened its doors wide to foreign talent from all over the world before the dawn of the new millennia. And that was probably the secret around its tremendous growth. We saw Suzhou change before our eyes from a town without facilities for foreigners to a town where you could get a variety of foreign cuisines and wares. I met people from Finland to New Zealand. Friendships blossomed even among children’s friends’ parents of varied nationalities. Heidi’s family was not the only one that held passports from different countries. I had friends with Brazilian passports married to Germans, German married to French, Croation married to French and Chinese married to varied nationalities. And we knew those whose family came from a single country. They were the majority. It was like a mini-United Nations. I had close friends from many parts of the world and I learnt to cook Italian food authentically from a very close friend, Aditya’s best friend Antonio’s mother.
Because of the culturally diverse community, our children learnt to be comfortable having friends from all over the world.
Because of the culturally diverse community, our children learnt to be comfortable having friends from all over the world. They learnt to respect diverse cultures, and if I am not wrong, my sons have also acquired a lifetime of colourful vocabulary in multiple languages. Of course, such words are not repeated in front of parents or teachers!
One thing my children never got used to, was friends leaving, which happened often with families coming on two-year expat assignments.
We always had elaborate parties for departing friends. They even had a grand planned farewell in Heidi’s home for me! Once I hosted a farewell for children which was like the endless party given by the Mad Hatter. Aditya had invited his Finnish and Italian friends to spend the day with him before they departed for their home countries permanently. They came with their siblings because their mothers were good friends of mine and they had things to catch up on towards their return.
The grand day started at 9.30 a.m. I had six overexcited children in the age range of six to fourteen spending the day at my place. Five were boys, and one was an unfortunate sister.
Everyone wanted to watch something different! Movie choices ranged from Bugs Bunny to National Treasure 2. Finally, I had the younger four, their ages ranging from six to ten, watch Over the Hedge, and the older ones watched National Treasure 2.
I told them what I thought would begin the day in a most peaceful tone. I said they could start the day with a movie and some candy. There was a minor skirmish over the choice of film. Everyone wanted to watch something different! Movie choices ranged from Bugs Bunny to National Treasure 2. Finally, I had the younger four, their ages ranging from six to ten, watch Over the Hedge, and the older ones watched National Treasure 2. Battle one ended peacefully, and the substantial amount of candy, which they were supposed to munch on for the rest of the day, disappearing in the next fifteen minutes! They all had drinks after that, ranging from water to juices to hot chocolate.
Leonardo, Antonio’s eight-year-old brother, watched the movie from under the centre table in our drawing room. Frail Finn Maya, ten-year-old Kalegh’s younger sister, sat perched on the sofa back. Kalegh and my own six-year-old Surya lay on the sofa handles. None of them sat on the sofa seats. It took me back to Aditya’s childhood. He used to jump while watching his favourite shows on TV. And when we took him to watch his first movie premiere in Singapore, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, members of the audience urged Aditya to lower his volume because they could not hear the dialogues. It was nearly impossible for us to contain Aditya’s vocal chords, so for a long time we abandoned theatre halls for home entertainment. In Aditya’s room, fourteen-year-old Antonio lay on the bed, and my thirteen-year-old son sat ramrod straight on a chair watching National Treasure 2.
I had managed to finish cooking lunch when I discovered that Over the Hedge was over. More demand for candy and drinks.
I had managed to finish cooking lunch when I discovered that Over the Hedge was over. More demand for candy and drinks. No, I said; lunch soon. But please, please, please … I gave in. The whole problem was I knew these kids so well and was so fond of them, and I knew that I may never see them again; hence, I could not be my firm self. Of course, that meant I would be willing to dance the hornpipe the rest of the day. I wanted them to have the best day ever in my house and always to remember each other with happy thoughts. I think children sense these things.
The madness started as I laid out lunch. Maya ate raw vegetables, plain rice, and fruits (watermelon and mango). She said she did not eat meat – eight and vegan? Well, we move early these days. Her brother ate mainly sausages, a sprinkling of vegetables, and had to be persuaded to eat his rice with the aid of ketchup. None of them ate fish or meat. Leonardo, who after turning eight had decided he was going on eighty, ate mainly fish. He said it was the best in the world. That made me so happy! He said he loved the sandwiches, too. Antonio stuck to sandwiches, meat, rice, and vegetables as did Aditya and Surya.
After food, as I was a bit short on candy, they attacked my stock of chewing gum and finished it.
Then it was close to 1.30 p.m., and we exchanged kids with our neighbour. Maya went off to play with her Finnish girlfriend, Anu. Ansi, Anu’s six-year-old brother, joined our horde, to the delight of his friend and neighbour, Surya. I must mention Maya had spent the morning with a bunch of boys who considered girls unworthy of their attention. But I always notice the boys are happy to harass them.
So, there was general rejoicing among the boys over this trade-off.
Then there was the battle of the Wii – a strange invention that even had dads hyper excited. Though dads battle it out with their six-year-olds, they are often beaten by the youngsters. I had to restrict each pair to two turns. Kalegh, who did not want to play Wii, played computer games.
Then there was a demand for a chocolate-chip cake, and Kalegh offered to help me! He said he was a good cook. When I heard one of them wanted to see Mr Bean, I was happy to ask Aditya to put it on.
Then there was a demand for a chocolate-chip cake, and Kalegh offered to help me! He said he was a good cook. When I heard one of them wanted to see Mr Bean, I was happy to ask Aditya to put it on. Then I baked my cake in peace, with only an occasional disturbance, including offers of assistance from Kalegh and demands to taste the cake from others. Kalegh had his second cup of hot chocolate and cookies while waiting for the cake. Finally, at teatime we had the cake, popcorn, and biscuits. I had two of the moms with me by then, and things seemed to be a little more under control.
And then came the grand finale. Since it was raining outside, and the World Cup matches being hosted by South Africa didn’t start until night in China, my half a dozen brave hearts turned indoor footballers. They practiced penalty kicks in my home corridor. I moved to a flat between my two houses. Starting with Surya and Ansi through to Antonio, everyone stood in a queue and kicked the ball into the goal, my guest room door. It was confirmed that my guest room door was sturdy. Also, I am fortunate that no one lived on the first level – that had been a conscious decision as we were fairly certain if we opted for a higher floor, our neighbours would surely have complained about the noise levels in our home. When Ansi, whose family moved to a flat above us after multiple complaints about noise levels, had a birthday party, we thought we had elephants stomping over our heads or an earthquake in progress!
When the noise level started peaking to shattering levels, the moms in my house marched their wards home. And then there were only three, who played inside for some time.
When the noise level started peaking to shattering levels, the moms in my house marched their wards home. And then there were only three, who played inside for some time. When the rain stopped, they went out to play football. We had a comparatively quiet dinner for three, and the last goodbyes were said.
I felt I had achieved one of the most astounding feats of my life – hosting and “ending” the Mad Hatter’s party. Another incident I will never forget is how as a friend of mine and I talked books while we were visiting them, our sons took to theatrical adventures in zombieland.
When Surya was three or four, he would drape a sheet on himself and pretend to be a ghost. Then he took to calling his hooded T-shirts ‘ghostaes T-shirts’. I never quite figured out why. Then he read books on ghosts and zombies that I did not approve of, and learnt to read fluently by age seven when his friendship with the all American Gabe found its full bloom.
Gabe’s elder brother Isaac decided to make a movie on zombies. A nine-year-old fourth-grader, Isaac, had to make up the zombies to look like zombies. He made up Surya’s face with a green marker, and Gabe’s with less makeup, as he was a zombie in the making. Think of the joys of motherhood when, as we had been taking some time off from our kids to chat books, up cropped Surya of the green zombie face, grinning and sure of Mamma’s approval. Well, Mamma was amazed, horror-struck, and partly amused! Isaac assured us the marker could be cleaned off. Gabe merely had a few suture like marks in many colours since he was a zombie in the making – not fully evolved as yet! I think they ran out of the green marker ink … only they were not willing to admit that.
Maybe the frog felt more empathetic toward Surya, as they had almost the same colouring. The frog, of course, was smaller and had a moister and rougher skin!
Green-faced zombie Surya was proud of his movie debut and went around with his coloured face. In the playground, he petted the frog caught by Isaac. Maybe the frog felt more empathetic toward Surya, as they had almost the same colouring. The frog, of course, was smaller and had a moister and rougher skin!
Then came the time to go home. We were walking back since our compound was just across the road. On the way back we met Aditya’s friend’s mother and brother. They spoke to us but could not stop laughing when Surya proudly proclaimed that his makeup was for a role in a zombie movie. The Chinese security guard at our compound gate came out of his guardroom to examine the green man and could not stop laughing. Surya was beginning to figure out that people were not scared or impressed but were amused. Then my housekeeper could not stop laughing when we reached home! Surya started feeling a little shy.
The time came to wash the goo off his face, but he didn’t want his makeup removed! He said they were going to continue filming the next day, and he didn’t want his makeup taken off. With a lot of cajoling, I managed to get him into the bathtub and cleaned it all up with a lot of scrubbing.
The next attempt at dressing up as a zombie was carried out by Surya himself. He received a bunch of washable tattoos from a classmate toward the end of the school year.
The next attempt at dressing up as a zombie was carried out by Surya himself. He received a bunch of washable tattoos from a classmate toward the end of the school year. The gentleman covered one arm with at least ten different tattoos. He said that zombies have all kinds of funny skin markings, and that is what the tattoos were. Next morning he was forced to wipe them off by his unsympathetic parents before he went to school. Alas, zombie experts Gabe and Isaac, did not get to approve of the makeup. Such are the cruelties exhibited by the race of parents, especially mummies!
Zombieism was a new experience for me because Aditya stopped at pirates, monsters, and tigers. As a tiger, he did bring down the curtain rods in his room, and as a pirate he jumped on furniture.
So I’d had many experiences — except zombieism. And now, of course, I have the advent of zombies.
Surya and Gabe had stretched their imagination to even create zombie storybooks in school, fully approved by teachers and given good scores. They talked of ghosts and zombies all the time till they frightened themselves. Once Isaac told Gabe a story about a mummy who turned into a werewolf at night, and that night his own mummy found Gabe weeping copiously as he feared she would turn into a werewolf at night!
Surya made a beautiful terracotta structure which, thank God, he said was not a zombie. It was an island monster.
Halloween was a fun time in Suzhou. In our last bungalow, we had a stream of children who we did not know at all dropping in for trick or treat.
Later this love of zombies gave way to dressing for Halloween, I guess. One year he dressed as a zombie with a costume we bought especially for him. Halloween was a fun time in Suzhou. In our last bungalow, we had a stream of children who we did not know at all dropping in for trick or treat. I think the numbers overshot a hundred. Some of the homes were done up as haunted houses. And all the youngsters moved in unison from home to home. Aditya and his friends from high school stayed out of it as they considered themselves too old!
Sometimes I ponder that when man came into existence, he walked the Earth free of all systems and boundaries. There were no religions, no rules, and no customs. There were no countries, no passports, and no visas. There were no creeds, no beliefs, and no languages. To my understanding, might was right. In Kierman’s translation of Rahul Sankritayan’s, From Volga to Ganga1, he actually through his stories shows how the complexities of cultures developed. He depicts through his stories how man started to form communities as he switched from hunter gatherer to farming. Rules started being formed. Who formed them? The people. Was it a democratic rule or an autocratic rule?
Then religions, states, and complexities crept in with so-called early civilisations. And it kept growing till it created borders which not only needed armies to guard but nurture anger and hatred in the faction that thinks differently. Have we really evolved at an emotional level to accept differences and still live-in peace?
Then at some undetermined date, world history started. Then religions, states, and complexities crept in with so-called early civilisations. And it kept growing till it created borders which not only needed armies to guard but nurture anger and hatred in the faction that thinks differently. Have we really evolved at an emotional level to accept differences and still live in peace? In a book of Mongolian2 history, I read about their cruelty. When I read of violence and hatred in the media nowadays, I wonder how much we have evolved from that time and how different are we from those kings who beheaded their enemies and tortured them?
Of course, we bathe. The Mongols did not bathe3. They probably defeated half the world by the sheer stench of their bodies and bloodthirsty ways. Imagine having to fight against an overpowering stench! Can you imagine going close to a man who stinks like an unwashed animal, wears animal furs, and has dirty, uncut fingernails, matted hair, stained yellow teeth, and bad breath? Well, people who fought the Mongols probably had to. Think of the hordes of Genghis Khan! What were they like? When they let out a bloodthirsty roar and raced on fast wild horses against the washed and clean armies, how do you think a bathed soldier would react to the combined stench? Would he be able to think and do what he had been trained to do, or would he recoil? Was there a psychological backlash?
When Mark Twain’s Connecticut Yankee travelled to King Arthur’s court, back in time and history, he was appalled by their savageness, their filthy habits including wearing clothes endlessly sown on to their bodies, yet he was fascinated by their simplicity, chagrined by their boastfulness, and could trick them because of his knowledge of history.
When Mark Twain’s Connecticut Yankee4 travelled to King Arthur’s court, back in time and history, he was appalled by their savageness, their filthy habits including wearing clothes endlessly sown on to their bodies, yet he was fascinated by their simplicity, chagrined by their boastfulness, and could trick them because of his knowledge of history. The Yankee was probably thinking of the inmates of Camelot in the same way that impassioned missionaries and colonials of the eighteenth and nineteenth century thought about ‘natives’ they conquered in the hope of converting them into ‘civilized’ beings.
World history is a strange thing. We evolved on Earth into our current form and walked out of Africa only 70,000 to 100,000 years ago5. Our species started talking 50,000 years ago. The Earth came into being billions of years ago and 3.8 billion years ago life had started forming in the oceans of the Earth. Life evolved over time and mankind populated the whole of Earth and used the planet and its resources to flourish.
And now, when mankind seems to have reached a high degree of evolution, we are spending a large part of our time trying to draw non-existent borders between ourselves while violating nature. Will we like the colonials to be forced to withdraw from the ravaged planet. But where? Where will we go? They had a homeland. Our homeland is the planet Earth.
In the twenty-first century, while we are trying to level out cultural differences and have taken to dressing comfortably to suit the needs of the changing climes, why is it we are still highlighting and fanning our differences, going to war, and harming our own home?
In the twenty-first century, while we are trying to level out cultural differences and have taken to dressing comfortably to suit the needs of the changing climes, why is it we are still highlighting and fanning our differences, going to war, and harming our own home? What is it that we have learnt from our study of world history and our scientific study of the Earth? The Earth will go on with or without mankind. But can mankind subsist without more of his species on a friendly planet?
Aditya once wrote a beautiful piece in grade eight in which he called himself a citizen of the world — a united world in which all races and cultures abide in harmony on a friendly planet.
Youngsters sometimes stumble upon truths that take us forever to fathom.
References:
1From Volga to Ganga translated by Victor Kierman: Author, Rahul Sankrityayan. Published 2006. Pilgrim’s Publishing.
2The Mongol Empire: Genghis Khan, His heirs and the founding of Modern China by John Man, Penguin Random House UK, 2014
3The Human Story: Our History, From Stone Age to Today By James C Davis, Harper Collins 2004
4The Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court by Mark Twain(1889), A Tor Book, 1991.
*Note: All the names of the people have been changed.
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As much fun for the reader to read as it must have been for the kids.