Gender Relationship & Lifestyle

Women as Sex Symbols: Are we Predators and Prey at Workplace?

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Reading Time: 5 minutes

Are the two genders nothing more than the hunted and the hunting, the predator and the prey, in the jungle of primeval consciousness. Why are fashionable women seen as sex objects at social gatherings or at the workplace? Singapore-based Rina reacts against the ogling and groping, in the new column, every week. A Different Truths exclusive.

Our childhoods and upbringings are deep-rooted anchors that provide us with a baseline reference throughout our lives. We use it to give ourselves comfort even in the deepest moments of distress as we grow armours to deal with life or sometimes cast our armours to defuse tough life situations. 

I learned to appreciate myself through a combination of clothing myself in a way that I first appreciated myself – this is ever so important to understand before anyone else judges me – and in conducting myself with a free-spirited friendliness that I’m always comfortable with. Every human – regardless of gender – has a right to appreciate themselves first before seeking social appreciation. 

As I evolved through my beliefs and conduct, I didn’t see it fit to criticise men that thought women were outlandishly dressed or that women were conservatively dressed. 

Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus is an over laboured but well-emphasised difference in the mental, physical, and purely social conduct of these two genders. 

This understanding stops me from criticising a man, who sees me with a feeling of sexual desire based on my clothing; and regardless finding a way to appreciate another woman’s feminine physicality in a fully conservative attire.

I am of the opinion that he’s limited in his understanding of a woman and disrespectful in looking at us as sexual creatures alone – the base, animalistic instincts make such men just that! 

It is his opinion of my clothing as is my opinion of his conduct – we must allow this difference space and continue with harmonious existence instead of plunging our world into deeper conflict. 

I often wonder if the two genders nothing more than the hunted and the hunting, the predator and the prey, in the jungle of primeval consciousness.

It becomes dangerous when neither side is willing to consider the other aspect. Here I emphasise on the ardent need to look beyond clothing and a woman’s physical beauty alone. 

The 21st-century reality is that our society needs women to be economically empowered because women offer skills and competencies that complement those of men. They must work as a team for a better synergy and work environment. 

We complement a man’s directness and often abrasive attitudes humanely. We complement a man’s confrontational (read territorial and aggressive) and often political leadership styles with one built on empathy and fairness of opportunities. We provide a biologically created alternative to the male opinion that beauty and brains cannot co-exist. 

Often at work, most men tend to treat a woman for one of two primary reasons – he’s either appreciating some trait of hers, or he’s keen to develop a more meaningful relationship with her. 

Women often choose harmonious living over confrontation for matters that can be well resolved through a simple conversation or good conduct – negotiations rather than acrimonious arguments at times.

I have experienced at work when men couldn’t look beyond my dressing or be well balanced as they normally would be if I dressed to portray my self-appreciation. While this attention was welcome, I wanted appreciation for the work I did. 

I sought opportunities to deliver on my primary excellence and grow to take on more responsibilities at work. 

Unfortunately, a few of my male colleagues thought the additional responsibilities I could take were based on pleasing them sexually. 

The casual touch on the shoulder developed to a caress, grab or squeeze around the waist. The complement of being pretty developed to commenting on how sexy or racy I was. The appreciation for a modern woman’s dressing degenerated into a sense of how easy I was for several men to ‘have’ me. 

My comfort with my own conduct and dressing created trouble for me in personal life as well. Friends of my husband moved from subtly appreciating me – very welcomed – to overtly asking me if I fancied a fling with them. I asked one man how he could come to such a conclusion and he said it was because I wore clothing showing my cleavage and my long legs! 

It made me wonder why he never thought of how unappealing he was because I’d be judging him too!

I thought the best way to deal with this is to be one of the boys – to compete with them, to be like them – behave and conduct myself in a way that they understand. Never mind the fact that I felt it was crass at times and obnoxious on several occasions. It could be that they were just being boys!

I realised that this is an approach that would never work. In all fairness, the two genders must have a comfortable existence being themselves and not having to prove that one is superior to the other. 

Such ideal living would never exist as I learned the hard way. At work, my male colleagues just said they would appreciate my work more if I dressed more conservatively. It stunned me that my last five excellently delivered projects were lost on them and they still saw me from a purely physically sensual perspective. 

Surely, it’s not a woman’s fault that nature created her with feminine grace and beauty. It’s not a woman’s fault that she has breasts that support life as well as provides pleasure; it’s definitely not her fault that her vagina is biologically needed, supports the existence of human life, and provides a man with enjoyment. 

I had to stop my male colleagues by telling them directly – look but don’t stare or lech, appreciate but don’t offend, offer a handshake but don’t clasp my hand firmly.

As much as they thought I was easy, I thought that they were pathetic; as much as they thought I dressed for them, I thought they never even dressed for themselves. 

Some men remained friends and we even became better friends; most others fell from grace. 

Should I be taking on a job of educating a man about things he’d anyway learn from his mother or sister or wife? 

I changed. I learned to believe women and men have their own ways of living their lives – some harmonious and some confrontational – and we must learn to succeed in our distinct ways, without imposing our methods or ideologies on one another. 

Harmony, after all, symbolises a woman. A woman symbolises creation!

©Rina 

Photos from the Internet, sourced from the author

#WomenInWorkPlace #ThinkingOfMenAndWomen #WomenAsSexObjects #WorkingSynergy #SymboliseAWoman #CreationOfGod #RelationshipOfMenAndWomen #MenAndWomenInWorkplace #BreastAndVagina #WomenDressing #MenAreFromMarsAndWomenAreFromVenus #RelationshipRationale #DifferenTruths


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34 Comments
  1. Sameer 1 year ago
    Reply

    Good job, nice expressive , to the point.
    Hope to see more.

  2. Reks 1 year ago
    Reply

    feel so angry and upset every time I hear about these cases. It’s because women have such a low status in our society. Reena really appreciate your effort to reveal your opinion in such a beautiful way !

  3. Reks 1 year ago
    Reply

    Wishing you write more and more different truths so people will aware..
    Keep it up Reena .

  4. Raj 1 year ago
    Reply

    Powerful, nuanced, well written article on Mars and Venus with a clear hint that men need to be more transparent and respectful of women anywhere including in work places. My own standard for men is that men must have “good eyes” for all they do with reference to women and this nice article reinforces that belief. Well done Ms Rina.

  5. Shivi 1 year ago
    Reply

    U r doing a great job
    Keep going and keep inspiring

  6. Rajesh suneja 1 year ago
    Reply

    Powerful and well observed. Great..
    Keep the posts coming !!

    Look forward..

  7. Michele Baron
    Ajay 1 year ago
    Reply

    Well written.and thought provoking article. Great job Rina, Hope this article will help society to reshape their attitude towards women.

  8. Sofia 1 year ago
    Reply

    Great Article …. very nicely written, looking forward to see more and more

  9. prachi sharma 1 year ago
    Reply

    dz z wat is cld hitting below d belt.. u did it, very well said..

  10. Great job Rina. Keep your good work continue.

  11. Shankar 1 year ago
    Reply

    Nice article and very well written. It makes me pause and reflect on my own behaviour as a male. Where do I stand

  12. Anshuman 1 year ago
    Reply

    Very well articulated ! The article highlights the core male mentality that needs to change. Appreciating a woman beyond just physicality , is real bravado !

  13. Natasha chawla 1 year ago
    Reply

    Very well said

  14. Nitin Gera 1 year ago
    Reply

    Ths is 1 of the gr8 articl..

  15. Roopam Raman 1 year ago
    Reply

    Very nice article it shows women empowerment.Great job Rina…..keep it up

  16. Nitin Gera 1 year ago
    Reply

    Gr8 job..

  17. rahul raj 1 year ago
    Reply

    osm

  18. Hema 1 year ago
    Reply

    One of the best article…

  19. Rina 1 year ago
    Reply

    I know that I there is still a lot of work to be done and lots of things to be accomplished. Thank you for reading it ..

  20. Mona aneja 1 year ago
    Reply

    Well said ….Fully agreed wat u said

  21. Neha jaisingh 1 year ago
    Reply

    Great article…very nicely written…

  22. Abhinav Sirana 1 year ago
    Reply

    true that…..as we grow up, there is all together a concept that females are appreciated for what they do and for what they do nothing, later on these pamperings from school,parents,society…becomes set of rules and guide lines to act,wear,look in “good female Character” (which in itself has no meaning) when any of these guidelines are crossed, suddenly women becomes characterless to society…in between men who where left ignorant to understand any basic human need like respect, willingness, care…. later they are crowned as sole provider…..now when these men see women at work they apply their pervert definition of female character and harm/exploit women at large and openly but we altogether keep quite….such kind of people are need to be answered publicly in front of their families…because if men are finding sex in “revealing” clothes than such men will rape their mother for fostering, sister for wearing comfortable clothes at home or daughter who is born naked…..
    n importantly we think we will get what is advertised….people think that even if accidently woman top is slipped she is asking for sex because these thing are shown in media also…..
    very well n truly written….find your inner strength n tell god that you want things your way, now on….
    TO BE A JUDGE OF SOMEONES CHARACTER YOU NEED WISDOM AND NOTHING.

  23. Abhinav Sirana 1 year ago
    Reply

    simply loved it….. COURAGE is the best word to define RINA…
    regards

  24. deepak aneja 1 year ago
    Reply

    nice one

  25. Aniruddh Agrawal 1 year ago
    Reply

    Very good article

  26. arun 1 year ago
    Reply

    Good

  27. Rahul singh 1 year ago
    Reply

    Well said

  28. Deepakkumar 1 year ago
    Reply

    It’s nice article

  29. Rina 1 year ago
    Reply

    Thank you rahul

  30. Rina 1 year ago
    Reply

    Thank you Deepak

  31. Rina 1 year ago
    Reply

    Thank you

  32. Kapil Gupta 1 year ago
    Reply

    Very nice article

  33. Naresh Sharma 1 year ago
    Reply

    This article is an eye opener for those men who purely treat woman as sex object and can not look beyond.

  34. Samir Gupta 1 year ago
    Reply

    On a serious note this is the major problem which women face and should be strongly opposed

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