Enakshi writes about a real life incident. She tells us that often people do not understand the value of me-time, the joy of being with oneself. An exclusive for Different Truths.

Last week, when the workplace had to offer extra working hours and the body was denied sleep or rest owing to scary deadlines, I wished for a day off to reset my mind and start afresh. Since taking leave was out of the question, I had to find solace in pouring my heart out in the form of words. Ironically, it is then when I realised that often words fail to express what the heart or the mind feels. Thanks to the people around us, we are often left contemplating our choices and decisions. But as long as we are benefitted by our actions, we are good to go!

Habitual of investing my time in an activity that does not involve many people, I generally tend to finish my job on time, reach back home and then spend time either watching movie or writing. But the people around me do not understand this easily.

Habitual of investing my time in an activity that does not involve many people, I generally tend to finish my job on time, reach back home and then spend time either watching movie or writing. But the people around me do not understand this easily. The other day, when I was packing my bag to leave for home, my colleague rushed towards me to invite me over for dinner. I politely refused saying, ‘Your house is too far and I have work at home.’

‘What work do you have to do? Your husband wouldn’t come before 7. So what will you do till then? Why don’t you come over?’

I re-iterated that I had work but she had another argument ready.

‘Do you know that it is not healthy to be lonely. You should socialise and spend time with friends.’

And this was followed by some more unwanted suggestions that undermined my ability to work in solitude. In no time, I figured out that my dear colleague did not quite understand the difference between solitude and loneliness.

And this was followed by some more unwanted suggestions that undermined my ability to work in solitude. In no time, I figured out that my dear colleague did not quite understand the difference between solitude and loneliness. Upon asking what she does after she reaches back home, she said, ‘I sleep for an hour and then water the plants in my garden. By then, my kids come back from their coaching classes and I prepare snacks for them. They enjoy it when I prepare snacks of different kinds.’

‘Do you enjoy cooking?’ I checked.

‘Of course, I love cooking. When you come to my house, I shall prepare Litthi Choka (a North Indian dish) for you. I learnt it just last week.’

‘That’s so nice of you. But I was thinking if you would allow me to prepare something for you in your kitchen. That way I wouldn’t have to wait alone while you cook.’

A sudden frown of frustration appeared on her forehead. I knew the reason but still waited for her to spill the beans.

‘Why would you cook in my house? You are the guest and you should relax and enjoy.’

‘Okay, at least can I assist you?’

‘Why, Enakshi? I shall keep all the food ready. It wouldn’t take much time. Also, I like to cook alone.’

There, she said it.

‘Just how cooking gives you pleasure, being alone gives me pleasure. I like being with myself, spending time reading or writing or sketching or doing nothing.’

‘Just how cooking gives you pleasure, being alone gives me pleasure. I like being

with myself, spending time reading or writing or sketching or doing nothing.’

‘How can someone like to be alone? That’s not a good thing. Come over to my place and you wouldn’t have to be alone,’ she added.

‘There is a difference between solitude and loneliness. Solitude is a state of being alone without being lonely, while loneliness is a negative state that is accompanied by a sense of isolation,’ I tried spelling out.

‘…Solitude or loneliness –– whichever it is –– it is a sign — a sign of loneliness creeping in your life. That is the reason why people have kids. A little one spreads happiness all around.’

‘So, now you are going to play with words to make me look like a fool! Both these terms are similar. Solitude or loneliness — whichever it is — it is a sign — a sign of loneliness creeping in your life. That is the reason why people have kids. A little one spreads happiness all around.’

What followed next is a longer story still.

I realised that my colleague wasn’t the sharpest knife in the block. She didn’t have much between the ears. I had to make up another excuse to deny the invitation because speaking the truth didn’t do wonders! After escaping from what seemed like a detrimental conversation for my calm, I rushed back home to cater to my soul.

That’s the thing about people. They want to listen to what pleases them and look at the mists with idleness when it doesn’t concern them. I have tried my best to point out to people that I like being alone but they don’t understand.

That’s the thing about people. They want to listen to what pleases them and look at the mists with idleness when it doesn’t concern them. I have tried my best to point out to people that I like being alone but they don’t understand. For them, it is something that alienates me from the rest. Nevertheless, their reasons are never enough to convince me to let go of this habit.

Sometimes I just need to be alone and that’s okay. It doesn’t imply that something is wrong with me or that something is wrong with my life. I just need that kind of space that can assist me in soul-searching, recover, think, rest and just BE. I would never apologise for this, for taking out time from my schedule for myself and just not doing anything or doing something that makes me happy. It is a part of making me a more peaceful, happier and a healthier person.

Photo from the Internet