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A Date with Self

Enakshi tells us the importance of dating oneself. An exclusive for Different Truths.

In this crazy busy life that is no less than a factory shift, we often tend to forget that our soul also needs to be nourished time and again. Even when we know the methods that can help us attain inner peace, we fail to implement those methods. As a result, our cranky heart goes helter-skelter and remains dissatisfied. Well, I have been lucky lately! Last weekend, I tried out something quite different. I had read it somewhere that if one becomes comfortable going to movies alone and eating in a restaurant alone, one cannot be stronger than that. I had watched movies alone when I was in college but I had never tried eating out alone before now. Hence, I decided to spend my Saturday with myself.

I had read it somewhere that if one becomes comfortable going to movies alone and eating in a restaurant alone, one cannot be stronger than that. I had watched movies alone when I was in college but I had never tried eating out alone before now.

Not quite confident about this decision, I watched a lot of videos and read plenty of articles that listed the benefits of eating alone and enjoying one’s own company. Since my husband was out of town for the weekend, I couldn’t have had a better opportunity for this experiment. I chose the cafe that was within 3 km radius as the venue and booked a table for myself. Ready an hour before the reservation time, I could not hold back my excitement and started thinking about what I would eat, what I would drink and what I would write. Yes, I was planning to carry my laptop. No, I was not planning to work. I was planning to write in solitude.

The cafe had great ambience. With multi-coloured walls painted with abstract sketches, several book racks that had books for sale and a colourful seating arrangement, this cafe won my heart because of the tranquil surroundings. I chose a sponge-spot to absorb my insecurities and be able to execute this plan confidently.

I ordered a Blueberry Froyo and Garlic Bread and in the process, I learnt to take a small decision on my own. Following that, I let my creative juices flow and enjoyed every minute

Fifteen minutes after my arrival, the waiter came towards me asking for the order. I ordered a Blueberry Froyo and Garlic Bread and in the process, I learnt to take a

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small decision on my own. Following that, I let my creative juices flow and enjoyed every minute that I spent not thinking about household chores like ironing clothes, cleaning shelves, washing utensils or cooking food. I enjoyed sitting all by myself. Even the amorous couples who didn’t miss any chance to show their affection for each other failed to bother me. Definitely there was some social pressure as I was conscious about my conduct. Even a simple task like getting up and having a look at the books that were on display seemed an arduous task because the fear of being judged overpowered the courage I had gathered some time back. But all those apprehensions seemed to disappear when people started coming in.

Beside me sat a girl and a boy, who were too much in love. Right in the left corner of the room sat a middle-aged gentleman, who had his phone to give him company. In the centre, sat a man who had just come to eat alone. How happy and confident these people looked! For them, this seemed quite normal. Unlike me, they knew what they were doing. Looking at them did bring home the importance of self-care. I understood how important it is for each one of us to take some time out to do things we love or just spend some time away from the chaos and the stress of daily life.

I learnt to appreciate myself for all that I had done until that day. I understood that there is no use being hard upon myself because there are a lot of people busy doing that to me. I acknowledged the brook in my little heart that needed healing.

That day I learnt to breathe deeply, enjoyed the real taste of the food and felt wholly alive with all my might. I learnt to appreciate myself for all that I had done until that day. I understood that there is no use being hard upon myself because there are a lot of people busy doing that to me. I acknowledged the brook in my little heart that needed healing. I replenished it. I had taken a first step towards loving myself and in return, I had taken the responsibility of my happiness. In this attempt to begin loving myself, I had taken the responsibility of my life and had learnt that I shouldn’t settle for anything less than what I deserve.

Go out, be silly, fear not the judgements. Be who you want to be and just for those few hours, live to your heart’s content!

Photo from the Internet

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Enakshi J
Enakshi is an educator, an author and a traveller. She loves to learn. Her writings have appeared in The Speaking Tree (Times of India), Woman’s Era, Alive, Infitithoughts, SivanaSpirit, Women’s Web, EfictionIndia and Induswomanwriting. She is an eminent book reviewer and she reviews books by Penguin, Rupa and Hachette India. Her stories and poems have been anthologised widely. She conceptualized two books- ‘Unbounded Trajectories’ and ‘Poison Ivy’.

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