The pain and agony of a mother of of a child with autism, crushed by the pressures of her life, takes a grim toll. Tapati recounts a heart-wrenching account, based on a real-life incident,, Exclusively for Different Truths.
The young child was playing with crayons spread around. Mindlessly he would pick up one of them, would closely look at it and threw away. His favourite colour was blue and he could not locate it. “Mummy, give my favourite crayon,” he would cry and groan in enraged voice but minutes after would forget to go back to his playful mood.
But it was a different morning when his mother did not show up running to calm him down. Heart-rending scenes were witnessed at the Ameerpeth Apartment of the 36-year-old television news reader V. Shruti. She had committed suicide due to depression the night before.
Father of Shruti was in tears trying to hold his grandson, “We told the boy, his mother died, but he can’t understand. And he continued playing. He walked up to the mother’s body at the apartment and told, “Lee Amma (Wake up mother).”
The child went back to his room to play with the coloured pencils scattered on the mat. He picked up a piece of a paper sheet full with scribbles his mother would know; now he got busy trying fresh lines to make the splattering waves more curving in his sea of blue with birds flapping above and a little boy gathering shells in the pristine sand….
In the next room, the heart and soul of a father were shattered over the loss of his brave girl; now, his only solace was the child, who failed to understand the reality. The old man was crying loud: “This boy has autism and studying at a special school for children with autism. My daughter would always infuse confidence in me whenever I worried about the child. Shruti was suffering from depression for the past few months and would forget to take medicines. Being the mother of such a child had been a curse and took its toll on her!”
The day after, as her pyre was being lit at the cremation grounds, her 14-year-old child with autismwas trying to wake her up, “Mummy see my painting, here is the bird, the sky and …” Vishu failed to fathom the harsh reality… “Mummy is there but would not listen to me,” he went on telling the relatives as they all grappled with the trauma of the child. It was the same day, the 2nd of April, known as the World Autism Awareness Day.
After struggling and waging a long battle over her personal issues, Shruti has been sinking into depression for the last few months. Her husband lost all his patience with the boy being an child with autism…. “I cannot bear such a life-long burden, I don’t have the nerve.”
But Shruti as a mother refused to leave the helpless child. She was separated from her husband for past three years and got divorced six months ago.
Looking at the innocent face of her son, she would forget all miseries. Just 15 days ago she had anchored a TV debate on stress and anxiety. Her show was pivoted around suicide by class 10 and Intermediate students. Her mother passed away due to cancer recently. She also has a child with autism and was gloomed with her depression about the future of the child.
Sunday was her last day in this world. Shruti read her primetime news bulletin at her Banjara Hills residence and left for her parent’s home around at 9.40pm in a cab. She reached the second-floor home of her apartment. After an hour, she went to the terrace on the fifth floor. She had jumped to her death from there, smashed into her pool of blood below.
Relatives and colleagues attended the last rites of Shruti in large numbers. A senior staff from her office said, “Parents, sister, and other family members are in a state of shock after her suicide. Everyone who came for the cremation was moved by the sight of the boy trying to cling to his mother. Her personal life issues too affected her.”
Shruti had left a note which stated, “My brain is my enemy,” reflecting her anxiety and agonies that she could not share with anyone. She might have immersed in multiple thought processes, which she could not control due to her depressive disorder and ended her life. While her family was left in mourning her dear child was left in a more helpless state with the death of his mother, his primary caregiver.
The heartbreaking incident is a whistle-blower for the rest of the society. Autism is not a child’s individual problem but definitely also a social problem, where parents succumb to societal pressure. Shruti at some point had lost to her hidden pressure, which she kept hiding from the people around her. For the child with autism, we have some treatment, special schools and some facilities; but along with that, the society needs to extend extra patience and understanding for the immediate family. The child belongs to this society and all of us need to help him having a life less miserable. Life is beautiful. Let us live it together.
Picture design Anumita Roy
#Autism #ShortStory #LifeLesson #LifeIsBeautiful #PainOfLife #SpecialNeeds #AutismAndParenting #AutismAnAdvocacyInitiative #ALittleBitOfLoveAndUnderstanding #DifferentTruths
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