Delhi-based Samrudhi reviews the narrative about feminism and feels that the true spirit is missing in India. Here’s her opinion, in the weekly column, exclusively in Different Truths.
The majority of the populous of the world’s largest democracy seems grossly unaware of the various systems of oppression, often subtle in their avalanche, that we become complicit in perpetuating those systems. Social Activist Kiese Laymon illustrates this fact through a series of gripping and revealing essays in his book How to Slowly Kill Yourself and Others in America. But reading the book makes me realise that this isn’t something that’s happening in America alone. As he writes, aptly, and a deep insight makes me think, unknowingly I too have become a victim to it, “Lots of times, we’ve taken turns killing ourselves slowly, before trying to bring each other back to life” When we as denizens of the selfsame society allow repressive systems to exist unchallenged, knowing fully well that each of us are equally responsible and partially affected by those implications, how do we restore a balanced equalitarian social order devoid of gender bias?
Feminism is one way I try to revive myself and others, but the complexities involved in Indian feminism which brings in its preview many legal acts like the Hindu Marriage Act, the Muslim Sharia Law and several other such laws (especially because India is a secular State), the actual substance of feminism is so deeply misunderstood by men and women alike that a critical chunk of the conversation goes missing. Indian feminism and feminist issues as they stand, most often, are not fully inclusive of all women or experiences.
An article in Huffington Post India rightly states, “Indian feminism has tended to represent the interests and concerns of upper-caste women rather than reflect the experiences of Indian women en masse. By recognising this fact, Indian feminism can more effectively challenge historically entrenched and varied [systems of oppression]”.
True, we no longer live in the pre-colonial or colonial past where Sati was the norm of the day and where a woman had no 
identity of her own other than being a man’s wife or daughter. But is this enough to satisfy our demands and make our voices heard above the crowd? That, unfortunately, is the ugly truth of feminism in India. Consider the lights, glamour, fun, and fiesta of Bollywood – beneath this lurks a dark reality. Whenever any female star who plays sexist roles is interviewed behind the screens, she is always asked about her past. The line of questioning that is subtly but deliberately loaded with an overbearing moral undertone, ranges from feverishly curious to offensively personal. And why is it that women are always held to trial? Why don’t these misogynists go and question Salman Khan about appearing shirtless in reality shows or in Flimfare events?
Why only the world of glamour and fashion, the way girls dress up, has become a family conflict in every other educated household. And significantly enough, the point to be noted is that it is their mothers (who are often well educated, working professionals) often reprimand their daughters against wearing clothes of their choice. Now, how does a young girl rebel in such a scenario? Taking a leaf out of a personal experience, I once told my mother, “Please don’t expect me to become a Sita or a Radha just because you could never free yourself from your patriarchal ideologies.” I may have been rude, but for an adult, neither parents nor the society decides what is right or wrong. It is entirely the woman’s choice what she decides to wear or where she chooses to work. But then the Indian society is so idealistic in its approach that it has become very difficult for even the women of the pre-1990s generation to accept feminism as a personal choice that will actually liberate them in the long run!
But I would prefer to stick to my beliefs and value systems even if they defy social norms. I am a woman and I will make sure our voices are heard above the crowd and we get the respect that we truly deserve. And all women should come forward to support “feminism” in the real sense of the term.
©Samrudhi Dash
Photos by the author and sourced by her from the Net.
#Feminism #Gender # KieseLaymon # HinduMarriageAct #Muslim Sharia Law #Identity #Misogynist #Bollywood #Girls Dress #Patriarchal #Different Truths
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