Why Women Strive to be Perfect and Men Don’t!

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Men and women are differently wired. It’s perhaps because society has greater expectations from women. Whether, it’s the way they look, the way they perform at work, the way they handle their relationships, the way they act in public, there’s always something they wish they could change about themselves. They constantly think about improving themselves, their relationships and their work. Here’s what Nikita has to say about being a woman, in the weekly column, exclusively for Different Truths.

It’s hard to satisfy a woman.

Whether, it’s the way they look, the way they perform at work, the way they handle their relationships, the way they act in public, there’s always something they wish they could change about themselves. They constantly think about improving themselves, their relationships and their work.

A woman with a gorgeous body, perfect home, great husband and even better car won’t be content. She would be still searching for something that would make her better.

It’s a dangerous thing.

Perfection is Expected from Women

“From Fat to Fit.” “Learn how to be desirable for men,” “How to lighten your complexion,” “How to look flawless in your selfies?” The advertisements that surround us are a constant reminder that we need to be perfect in everything that we do. Look around and you’ll find something that reminds you how far you are from becoming “perfect”. We see super models with hourglass figure-flaunting their assets, flawless skin, and hairs flowing like waves of the ocean. A woman is defined by inches all her life.

Women are Responsible for broken Relationships, not Men

All over the world, women are given the responsibility to nurture all relationships. We are called “Nurturers”. A father would not leave his job to take care of the child but it is obvious for a woman to do the same. A man has a choice of not learning household chores, not a woman.

When a couple divorces, all eyes effortlessly blame the women. If a child gets bad grades in the school, nobody says that father was negligent. It goes on…

Worrying is for Women

Actually, I can’t even explain to you, what goes on inside a woman’s mind 24X7 .There are one million things that they worry about every damn minute of their life. “Am I looking fat”, “Is my skin ageing,” “Should I accept the offer letter or go back and prepare dinner,” “What would in-laws think of my decision,” “Is it the right time to have a baby,” “Blue doesn’t suit me at all,”

“Why the hell did I get married,” “Am I over reacting to everything,” “Let me have a cheese burst pizza with garlic bread,” “Wait ,what about my diet plan?”

We are full of doubts and worries and things-to- do.

Women are Expected to look Great all the Time

The world does not cares if you are suffering from thyroid or you just popped out a baby, we are expected to look great all the time. “Look, how much weight she has put on,” “How shabbily she dresses up,” “Her skin is pathetic,” “Why is she wearing that dress again?” It never ends.

Women feel Guilty always

Everyday a woman feels guilty about something she did not intentionally do. The moment we take time out for ourselves, we start feeling guilty of neglecting our children. When nobody else is willing to take charge of the messed situation, we take the blame on ourselves. We feel responsible for every damn cell in our body. The motherly instincts in us are literally killing us.

Women think they don’t Deserve the Good Life

We think we don’t deserve the good life. We don’t know how to ask for what we want. I believe it started during those early years when we were appreciated for being the good obedient girls and boys were thrashed for being wild.

Think about most of the women you know. Think how hard they work to be perfect. Think how many people judge them every day for who they are.


Weight of Expectations

I know you feel the expectations placed on your shoulders and the weight of everything to do and sometimes it’s so isolating and suicidal. Nobody comes over to pat on your back and say, “You’re doing great!” The household work you do is not even considered work.

Women are not Accepted as they are but Men are

The most common example is when we seek for a groom/bride. Women are expected to be Greek goddesses and men just need to qualify the parameter of handsome salary. It is icing on the cake if a man can cook but for a woman it’s a compulsion.

Perfection is expected from all woman. And I do not blame the family and friends alone but society as a whole, which shamelessly portrays the parameters to be a perfect woman. Men, on the other hand, can be anything they’d like to be.

©Nikita Goel

Pix sourced by the author from the Net.

Nikita Goel is a Texas-based writer. She is actively associated with Aagaman Literary and Cultural Society’s English Publications. She has worked as the managing editor for Purple Hues. She has co-authored three books. Her poems have been published in five anthologies. She has been featured online on Readomania, Aagaman -The Arrival, Writers e-zine, Writing Geeks, Literary and Creativity Magazine. Her blog, Enchantress, has been adjudged India’s best blog for three consecutive years.