Its twelve years that Sarika has been married. Their 12th wedding anniversary in on November 28, this year. She tells us how she met her hubby, who was teased as her ‘Wet Lips’ by her university friends, because of the caller tune assigned to his number, when she was in Pune University hostel. She tells us that despite the many differences between them, their love for travelling has kept the spark in their married life alive. She shares her rambling thoughts about the Man in her life, exclusively for Different Truths.
The adage, “Marriages are made in heaven,” though a cliché is true in our life.
We are totally different from each other. I am a day dreamer, he is a practical achiever. I take long time to forgive people but he never keeps any negative feelings about others. I prefer slow music, he likes Mika Singh. I love my books and me time, he is a movie buff. He is a man of focus, while I am a multitasking (jack of all trades, master of none). When god decides something for us that is always the best, my dadu (grandfather) used to say.
Yes, ours is an arranged marriage through a popular Indian matrimonial site. A call from him and everything changed forever. During those days, he was in Bangalore and my hive was in Pune University hostel. I was doing Ph.D (which is yet to be completed). In the month of July 2004, one fine day he came to Pune to see me before that we had some formal chats on phone and through emails. I was more curious than nervous when we were about to meet. However, I did not forget to pick a bouquet for him, which he kept with him for more than three months, and I still call him ‘a heartless man’. He is a corporate warrior and doesn’t know how to express his love like Sharukh Khan but he knows very well how to keep his marriage sparkling and lively.
We have been married 12 years today, even though at times I felt it is a burden for free soul like me, on the other hand, I also know how much I need him in my life. I don’t know definition of happy marriage, however, in our marriage you will find love, fights, emotion, slangs, arguments, disagreements, disappointments and holidays. During our courtship days, mid of 2004 (after engagement) Kunal Ganjawala’s song, Bhige honth tere (your wet lips) was one of the block buster, and in my mobile this ring tone was set for his (mobile) number. While typing messages, I would smile silly. My mates used to tease me, “Tera bhega honth aa gaya” (your ‘Wet Lips’ has arrived). And I immediately ran to the terrace, as the signal was very weak in my room (this was not an excuse, though I loved the privacy). His time to call me was between 9pm and 10pm, and Mrinal used to sing a song, ‘Dil ne tumko chun liya hai’ (by Shan). So music is very much a part of our courtship and love life. We love ‘hard’ and fight ‘harder’. I believe marriage is an institution that is perpetually under construction.
He is first a Sylheti than a Bengali, and he place his childhood buddies (mostly Sylheti origin) above all until today. Initially, I used to feel left out and believed that he is much more interested on his friends rather than his newly married bride. But, now I really feel proud for that very reason – only the fortunate can maintain relationship with their childhood buddies. Even I too count few of them, as my friends, today. Living together, growing together and raising our only son together is the best part in this marriage. We share one common interest that is travelling, otherwise we are poles apart. Our honeymoon destination was mesmerising Nepal, and after that we visited more than nine different countries, and we also booked our tickets for another new land.
After spending 12 years with him, I feel like I know him since my childhood days. Looking back and thinking together we have walked so far and probably next 12 years will fly even faster. He is not good at saying, ‘I love you’, or romantic dialogues but his eyes speak a lot. Never mind, in this life I will manage with those dreamy eyes and his way gazing ‘I love you’.
The other day, I saw him playing Ludo with our ten-year-old son, which is completely out of his comfort zone. This is the beauty of marriage or fatherhood probably!
Am thrilled (‘happy’ is such a misunderstood word) to be his wife. Happy Anniversary, my darling Husband!
©Sarika Sarkar Das
Photos by the author.
Editor’s note: Do you have a similar story to share about marriage and courtship? Please mail your article to us: firstname.lastname@example.org with photographs. It should be sent to us about a week earlier. Mark ‘How I met my spouse’ in the subject line.