A tongue-in- cheek tale of hair, its glees and woes by Different Truths’ humourist Lily.
Alexander Pope, the great granddad of prose wrote, “Beauty draws us with a single hair.” It’s hardly strange, then, that gentlemen prefer blondes but gentlemen marry brunettes! Hair that tangle of mysterious prejudices. It’s the kick one’s vanity needs every now and then.
The nauseating sum of money that the bold and the beautiful spend on beautifying their tresses would make the doorman of your building cringe in horror and the gardener gape in horrified disbelief. The shades and layers of colourful streaks and the burnished gold highlights, in those oh so Rapunzel – mimicking cascades, would never happen for Ms Moneybags, if the celebrated and coveted hair stylists did not come down into their salons, with a dramatic flourish, feeling the texture of her chemical crazed hair, with a look of practised disdain.
What joy there was, in the lovingly patted, slobbering of coconut oil that your mother insisted on, before the ritual hair wash day! Natural conditioners were used to make the tresses glisten and to give that sparkling healthy sheen. There were no fancy names like serums and conditioners, for the schoolgirls of the yore. Yoghurt and raw eggs made a rude mess on your head, while mamas watched patronisingly. Thank god for those ministrations and care in childhood.
Time, should no more be seized by the forelock for that nasty fellow, sooner or later, will pull all our hair out! I have known, ladies complain, that it’s impossible to control their lives for they can barely control their hair!
On a cheerful note, experience is the comb that nature gives us when we are bald. Ah! The heavens are merciful. After we are done with pulling out our hair in a frenzy of worry and letting the wind play with our hair, we will still have a fistful of weather beaten experience. When a woman isn’t beautiful, people find it easy to say, “You have lovely eyes, you have lovely hair!”
So much for appearances. Bah!