Preeyan tells us the most important aspect of our persona, the development of personality, in the weekly column, exclusively for Different Truths.
There are a few key factors no personality development workshops cover, I would like to cover those few points that actually influence your development and growth. We are so used to looking at communication, body language, leadership, presentation skills, etc. that we forget the few basics that one has to self-develop.
The most important factor is appearance and impression. Good looks are not what I imply here, anyone can look good, it depends on how you dress, how you make your hair, the perfume you wear and the shoes you put on. This is what is first visible even before someone greets you.
The next is your voice and modulation of your voice. For those who have a rough husky voice needs to ensure that you are not too loud, but clear. And for those who have a shrill voice you need to be able to control your shrill and be as loud as required. What I am trying to state is that your voice should be clear and not deficient in any way. We have come across such people in our lives, just think about the impression that they have left on you.
Changing manners, some people have the habit of cutting short someone’s statement by intruding. I have been guilty of this in the past and have consciously tried to keep this under control. It is always good to listen. Another mannerism that can leave a wrong impression about you is biting fingernails and the skin around the nail. People don’t understand that when we shake hands with them, we can feel the edges of the fingers which does not feel good at all.
Patience is the most important trait you need to practice. When you realize that you are getting irritated on something just hold back and count from 1 to 10 and backward. My grandfather always said that to me that when you get angry, count from 1 to 10 and backward it will help you stay in control. It is the same for everything and even at times when you think you are losing patience. I have always maintained that being patient is the only way you can succeed. Most people jump jobs due to lack of patience which intern ends up hurting them in a wrong way. Impatience will lead you to do things because of which you will keep getting poked at various times in the future.
Ability to think differently is where there is always the usual way and the wrong way of doing things, we think of a way completely different to see how it works. It will be the best possible solution or will be a learning, but the pleasure and the learning you get from doing this makes you wiser.
Being a person of few words, most times we get tempted to talk, and a person like me just gets rattling on. My experience has been that in situations when I keep quiet, listen to what the others had to say, and come up with my key points that I would like to look at and only then speak is when I have been able to make a mark and it really helps. Our whole perception starts to look different even to us. I know it is not as easy as it sounds, some may not even be able to talk, and some would decide to keep quiet and some can’t just keep it down, and for all these people what I said may be difficult. But it’s never too late to start. A conscious effort will surely help you practice this.
Staying committed to what you know is right, and never giving allowances to it. Tough one but again, it is a virtue to have. Never mind the consequences of this, it will not last forever, but what happens after that will be worth the hassle. Many of the greats in the world claim that they have done it, we may not be that great but it seems right to be able to stick to what is right and not deviate from it because of convenience.
Having said all of this, personality in itself says that it is personal, so external influences can only help you make up your mind to take some corrective steps. If you are already in the path of developing your personality this may also help influence you in it. It is in your hands to take the right steps and keep to your goals and ambition in the right way. And if you are on the journey to change this world I would say start with yourself, take one vow at a time, vow that you will not break the traffic rules, vow that you will not swear during the day, vow that you will not bribe anyone today, vow that you will not state a lie and the list can go on. And if you stick to this your attitude may influence someone else to follow you. That’s what makes a difference and not by just sharing posts and liking posts on social media.
Your personality can only be shaped by you, others can only show you a way, but still, it’s up to you.
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